I really like the precredits. It's the first time we have seen 007 on a motorcycle. Won't be the last.
The music is by Eric Serra who also did La Femme Nikita. I think he did a good job. He didn't screw it up. That a positive.
The title sequence is by Daniel Kleinman. Wow. He did the almost impossible of of making it look like something Maurice Binder would do without going over the top with it.
This is the first time since Thunderball that we have seen the DB5. That was nice.
Now you know what it's like to be me. No, I don't get into races with women in Ferraris, I get knocked over on my bike.
A mime is a terrible thing to waste. Sorry.
If you have to go there are worse ways to go than being squeezed to death by Xenia Onatopp. We've seen most of them in Bond films.
The sport coat and trousers is a very Roger Moore look, not that there is anything wrong with that.
And she can pilot a helicopter.
I thought that guns were only phallic symbols for men.
Samantha Bond is great as Moneypenny.
Did I ever tell you that I like women in short skirts and tall boots? I miss the Nineties sometimes.
I like a lady who drinks bourbon. Sometimes. The next morning can be a bit tricky.
It's nice to see Q laugh.
It could have been worse, Wade could have been driving a Trabant.
I really like Zukovsky. He has one of my favorite quotes.
Hey look, it's Minnie Driver!
It's good to know that Bond is ambidextrous.
This is the first time in the films that it is mentioned that Bond is an orphan.
Every time I am on an aircraft there is someone behind me screaming. Make of that what you will.
That's using you head 007. It is nice to see him get ejected for a change.
The tank chase is a very good idea. I wonder why they never thought of it before.
Very stylish wingtips, Bond.
Another Bond film, another train. Oddly enough this one looks a bit like Sam the Eagle.
I like the Omega but the laser not so much. It's not that I'm anti-gadget it's just that I kind of like them to make sense.
Boris isn't quite as smooth as Iceman with the pen.
And then we come to the Z3. Is it the worst 007 car ever? It is a bit of a German Miata.
I've never been to New Zealand either.
That's a big dish. Do you think that they can get the Sheffield United match on it?
It's good to know that the emergency exits are bilingual.
You would think that they would learn not to put flashing lights and beepers on explosives.
It always ends in a field surrounded by Marines. Maybe that's just me.
I think that Pierce Brosnan was a great Bond. He was young enough to do action and fight scenes without it seeming a bit silly. He's also very charming. He's definitely more of a Roger Moore, but that is just fine. I think they went a little too far the other way with Timothy Dalton.
Brosnan played him just right. He can still be cold and distant but he's a bit less angry if that's the right word/emotion. Dalton seemed harder and a bit shut off. He was almost always on the verge of something. It's like waiting for a bomb to go off. Brosnan uses charm and humor to deflect the pain.
I thought that it was a very good film. I wish that Dalton could have had a script this good. It was very clever to make 006 the ememy. This is one of my favorites. It's not up there with the best of the best but it is very good.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012
Licence To Kill
Drugs? Really? I guess every movie or TV show was about or on drugs in the Eighties.
Welcome back David Hedison as Felix Leiter. The bad news is that you're getting married.
Sanchez is a bad man. He'll whip you. Whip you for real.
Now 007, what has M told you about using a Beretta?
You may absolutely, definitely, kiss the bride.
Now you know why I'm afraid of trap doors.
The last place I'd look for drugs is in a drawer full of maggots. Ick.
The electric eel is far more efficient than the gasoline eel.
Look quick! It's a kid in a VH1 t-shirt!
Kitties!
Bond's gone rogue!
Sorry 007, I didn't recognize you without a duck on your head.
There's going to be a lot of coked up sharks off the coast of Florida, and there's nothing worse than a coked up shark.
They really just throw money all over the place don't they.
Mister Bond that's one Cigarette that I approve of.
Bond orders a Bud with a lime. Remember this. Put it somewhere in your mind-brain. File it away.
Is that the same shirt that Benicio Del Toro wore in The Usual Suspects?
What is about Bond and boats? The bad guys always shoot the fuel tank of fuel ine or Bond can't find the fuel shutoff switch. It's a wonder they ever let in the Royal Navy.
Bond also plays blackjack. I don't like anything where 21 wins. You really need to know that about me.
You have to love a tear away dress.
So that's what he cummerbund is for. I always thought it was a crumb catcher. Silly me.
Pigeons!
You won't get that toothpaste back in the tube.
There is always one loudmouth in every meeting. You ever notice that. I'm not only talking about real life but Bond films as well.
Ninjas show up when you least expect it.
Q always complains about how 007 treats his equipment and the he throws the broom radio in the bushes.
If this secret agent thing doesn't work out Bond could always get a job with Motor Convoy.
A wheelie?! Seriously!?
It it just me or does Leiter seem a tad cheerful considering all that has happened?
Oh yeah, they put a warning about cigarettes in the closing credits but nothing about drugs or guns or sharks.
I really liked Timothy Dalton as Bond. I wish that he could have made a few more. The two he was is were very good but by no means perfect. They both were a bit overlong.
I think The Living Daylights better managed mixing a serious storyline with elements of humor. This one had a very serious storyline. It wasn't too well received at the time but it has a lot of fans. I just think that it was far too ahead of it's time. Think about it. If you keep the revenge storyline and change the drugs to something else I could see Daniel Craig doing a great job with it. Maybe that's just me.
James Bond will return. Eventually.
Welcome back David Hedison as Felix Leiter. The bad news is that you're getting married.
Sanchez is a bad man. He'll whip you. Whip you for real.
Now 007, what has M told you about using a Beretta?
You may absolutely, definitely, kiss the bride.
Now you know why I'm afraid of trap doors.
The last place I'd look for drugs is in a drawer full of maggots. Ick.
The electric eel is far more efficient than the gasoline eel.
Look quick! It's a kid in a VH1 t-shirt!
Kitties!
Bond's gone rogue!
Sorry 007, I didn't recognize you without a duck on your head.
There's going to be a lot of coked up sharks off the coast of Florida, and there's nothing worse than a coked up shark.
They really just throw money all over the place don't they.
Mister Bond that's one Cigarette that I approve of.
Bond orders a Bud with a lime. Remember this. Put it somewhere in your mind-brain. File it away.
Is that the same shirt that Benicio Del Toro wore in The Usual Suspects?
What is about Bond and boats? The bad guys always shoot the fuel tank of fuel ine or Bond can't find the fuel shutoff switch. It's a wonder they ever let in the Royal Navy.
Bond also plays blackjack. I don't like anything where 21 wins. You really need to know that about me.
You have to love a tear away dress.
So that's what he cummerbund is for. I always thought it was a crumb catcher. Silly me.
Pigeons!
You won't get that toothpaste back in the tube.
There is always one loudmouth in every meeting. You ever notice that. I'm not only talking about real life but Bond films as well.
Ninjas show up when you least expect it.
Q always complains about how 007 treats his equipment and the he throws the broom radio in the bushes.
If this secret agent thing doesn't work out Bond could always get a job with Motor Convoy.
A wheelie?! Seriously!?
It it just me or does Leiter seem a tad cheerful considering all that has happened?
Oh yeah, they put a warning about cigarettes in the closing credits but nothing about drugs or guns or sharks.
I really liked Timothy Dalton as Bond. I wish that he could have made a few more. The two he was is were very good but by no means perfect. They both were a bit overlong.
I think The Living Daylights better managed mixing a serious storyline with elements of humor. This one had a very serious storyline. It wasn't too well received at the time but it has a lot of fans. I just think that it was far too ahead of it's time. Think about it. If you keep the revenge storyline and change the drugs to something else I could see Daniel Craig doing a great job with it. Maybe that's just me.
James Bond will return. Eventually.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
The Living Daylights
There was this guy on the radio the other day that said that he didn't like Timothy Dalton's portrayal of James Bond. He thought that he he took it far to seriously. That he was trying to make him too much like a Shakespearean character.
I disagree. I thought that he was a very good 007. I only wish that he had the chance to make more. The problem is that everyone said he was going to be the next Sean Connery. There can be only one.
Couldn't the Double-Ohs and the SAS just have had a football match?
A-ha. I really miss the Eighties. Too much.
Cello: sexy or inelegant? Discuss.
Bond is an assassin. That's part of the job description. I said ass twice, that's part of my job.
Rosika Miklos; sexiest Bond woman ever? Could be. I'm just saying.
I like the new Moneypenny but she is no Lois Maxwell.
Bond is smoking again.
Milk bomb!
"Why didn't you learn the violin?" Or the flute for that matter? Triangle?
Smooth jazz. Straight blowing.
Can I get a GPS with Mayam d'Abo's voice? That would be cool.
I'm glad that the Aston Martin is back but the laser scythe gag doesn't age well.
As for the cello case as sled I kind of liked it. It was a bit of fun without going too overboard. That's something that was missing from Licence to Kill but I'll get to that another time.
Pigeons!
Jonathan Rhys Davis is no Jonathan Rhys Meyers if you know what I mean. If you do please tell me. I have no clue.
Oh, Vienna.
Eighties fashion leaves a lot to be desired.
Banana hammock alert!
Oh my gourd! As I'm writing this Absolute Radio is playing "The Living Daylights." Leona Graham I love you!
Roller coaster!
Tilt-a-Hurl!
"Take me on the wheel." If you insist. Sorry.
It is balloon! You've been waiting on that one since Octopussy.
I see that Dalton like Roger Moore before him wears double vented jackets. I thought those were for large bottomed gentlemen. Fashion tip there.
I remember Eighties panties. I didn't have any firsthand experience with them, but I do remember them.
Does everyone around here do the laundry on the same day?
Never trust women in convertibles; that's my motto.
Felix Leiter, as I live and breathe! It's been far too long. This time he's being played by John Terry and thankfully not the Chelsea footballer/alleged borderline racist. No, it's the one who went on to play Christian Shephard on Lost.
Cellists fiddle between their legs. Sorry.
To Chlorohydrate!
When you see more than one of the same person always shoot the one in the middle. That's a tip for all you would be spies out there.
Then there was a bit where nothing happened. That was a problem in the Dalton era. The films were a tad over long.
It's a good thing that they let that other dude escape with them.
At least the physical baddie wasn't a super strong guy, just a big dude. Kind of like Red Grant in From Russia with Love.
You think that me held on to 007's Doc Marten all the way too the ground?
The bomb is always in the last bag you look in.
A bridge too far?
Bingo fuel!
It was nice to see John Barry appearing in the last Bond film he composed.
I really liked this film. I'm sorry if that offends anyone. I'm also one of those who likes On Her Majesty's Secret Service.
James Bond will return despite all your protests.
I disagree. I thought that he was a very good 007. I only wish that he had the chance to make more. The problem is that everyone said he was going to be the next Sean Connery. There can be only one.
Couldn't the Double-Ohs and the SAS just have had a football match?
A-ha. I really miss the Eighties. Too much.
Cello: sexy or inelegant? Discuss.
Bond is an assassin. That's part of the job description. I said ass twice, that's part of my job.
Rosika Miklos; sexiest Bond woman ever? Could be. I'm just saying.
I like the new Moneypenny but she is no Lois Maxwell.
Bond is smoking again.
Milk bomb!
"Why didn't you learn the violin?" Or the flute for that matter? Triangle?
Smooth jazz. Straight blowing.
Can I get a GPS with Mayam d'Abo's voice? That would be cool.
I'm glad that the Aston Martin is back but the laser scythe gag doesn't age well.
As for the cello case as sled I kind of liked it. It was a bit of fun without going too overboard. That's something that was missing from Licence to Kill but I'll get to that another time.
Pigeons!
Jonathan Rhys Davis is no Jonathan Rhys Meyers if you know what I mean. If you do please tell me. I have no clue.
Oh, Vienna.
Eighties fashion leaves a lot to be desired.
Banana hammock alert!
Oh my gourd! As I'm writing this Absolute Radio is playing "The Living Daylights." Leona Graham I love you!
Roller coaster!
Tilt-a-Hurl!
"Take me on the wheel." If you insist. Sorry.
It is balloon! You've been waiting on that one since Octopussy.
I see that Dalton like Roger Moore before him wears double vented jackets. I thought those were for large bottomed gentlemen. Fashion tip there.
I remember Eighties panties. I didn't have any firsthand experience with them, but I do remember them.
Does everyone around here do the laundry on the same day?
Never trust women in convertibles; that's my motto.
Felix Leiter, as I live and breathe! It's been far too long. This time he's being played by John Terry and thankfully not the Chelsea footballer/alleged borderline racist. No, it's the one who went on to play Christian Shephard on Lost.
Cellists fiddle between their legs. Sorry.
To Chlorohydrate!
When you see more than one of the same person always shoot the one in the middle. That's a tip for all you would be spies out there.
Then there was a bit where nothing happened. That was a problem in the Dalton era. The films were a tad over long.
It's a good thing that they let that other dude escape with them.
At least the physical baddie wasn't a super strong guy, just a big dude. Kind of like Red Grant in From Russia with Love.
You think that me held on to 007's Doc Marten all the way too the ground?
The bomb is always in the last bag you look in.
A bridge too far?
Bingo fuel!
It was nice to see John Barry appearing in the last Bond film he composed.
I really liked this film. I'm sorry if that offends anyone. I'm also one of those who likes On Her Majesty's Secret Service.
James Bond will return despite all your protests.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
A View To A Kill
Did 007 just invent snowboarding?
Do we really need the Beach Boys?
A boat shaped like an iceberg. Okay.
Ah, Duran Duran. One of my favorites. I remember watching the video on Friday Night Videos. Those were the good old days.
It's not only a great Bond theme it's a great song as well. It's right up there with "Live and Let Die" and "Nobody Does It Better."
Did Q just invent K-9?
It's nice that Moneypenny got a day ou in Lois Maxwell's last appearance.
Detective Eggplant? Only in France.
Bollinger '75; that was a good year. Not for me though.
Killer butterflies; what will they think of next?
Going down, Mr. Bond?
I knew that front wheel drive was good for something.
It wasn't as exciting as the chase in Ronin but what is?
Bond sure has a lot of baggage.
Did Q just invent psychic paper?
It appears the 007 has found Walter Bishop's lab.
Microchips are good with microsalsa.
Who is weirder: Christopher Walken or Grace Jones? Answers on apostcard to the usual address.
Can't Bond put anything back where it belongs?
It's a steeplechase!
Project: Main Strike certainly is no Operation: Grand Slam.
We're in a blimp!
If you're looking for someone on steroids then San Francisco is the right place. Just saying.
Welcome... to the Rock. Not really. I just had to get that one in.
James Bond hot tub party!
Kitty!
Isn't Stacy a bit too attractive for a geologist?
Bond not only eats quiche but he bakes it as well. That pretty much sums up the Roger Moore era.
But, he can also repair phone wiring. So he's got that going for him.
Rhetorical question: Do you think that Stacy's robe is short enough? Me neither.
Fire truck chase!
Your other left!
Fiero!
"Do you know what I'm sitting on?" Short Round?
It's a bomb in a box.
Zorin didn't spring for an electric winch. Seriously?!
If you're going to San Francisco be sure to keep an axe in you blimp.
And thus ends the Roger Moore era. It ended a lot better than it started. It's not that I don't like him, it's just that the scripts could have been a bit better. They tended to run more towards comedy. There is nothing wrong with that in moderation.
I think that in a way Roger Moore was the only person to follow Sean Connery. They are two different people with completely different takes on the role. It was the Seventies and the World was changing and the World needed a new James Bond to reflect that.
James Bond will return.
Do we really need the Beach Boys?
A boat shaped like an iceberg. Okay.
Ah, Duran Duran. One of my favorites. I remember watching the video on Friday Night Videos. Those were the good old days.
It's not only a great Bond theme it's a great song as well. It's right up there with "Live and Let Die" and "Nobody Does It Better."
Did Q just invent K-9?
It's nice that Moneypenny got a day ou in Lois Maxwell's last appearance.
Detective Eggplant? Only in France.
Bollinger '75; that was a good year. Not for me though.
Killer butterflies; what will they think of next?
Going down, Mr. Bond?
I knew that front wheel drive was good for something.
It wasn't as exciting as the chase in Ronin but what is?
Bond sure has a lot of baggage.
Did Q just invent psychic paper?
It appears the 007 has found Walter Bishop's lab.
Microchips are good with microsalsa.
Who is weirder: Christopher Walken or Grace Jones? Answers on apostcard to the usual address.
Can't Bond put anything back where it belongs?
It's a steeplechase!
Project: Main Strike certainly is no Operation: Grand Slam.
We're in a blimp!
If you're looking for someone on steroids then San Francisco is the right place. Just saying.
Welcome... to the Rock. Not really. I just had to get that one in.
James Bond hot tub party!
Kitty!
Isn't Stacy a bit too attractive for a geologist?
Bond not only eats quiche but he bakes it as well. That pretty much sums up the Roger Moore era.
But, he can also repair phone wiring. So he's got that going for him.
Rhetorical question: Do you think that Stacy's robe is short enough? Me neither.
Fire truck chase!
Your other left!
Fiero!
"Do you know what I'm sitting on?" Short Round?
It's a bomb in a box.
Zorin didn't spring for an electric winch. Seriously?!
If you're going to San Francisco be sure to keep an axe in you blimp.
And thus ends the Roger Moore era. It ended a lot better than it started. It's not that I don't like him, it's just that the scripts could have been a bit better. They tended to run more towards comedy. There is nothing wrong with that in moderation.
I think that in a way Roger Moore was the only person to follow Sean Connery. They are two different people with completely different takes on the role. It was the Seventies and the World was changing and the World needed a new James Bond to reflect that.
James Bond will return.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Octopussy
I am going to try to get through this without making any Octomom jokes, and a minimal amount of Squiddly Diddly jokes.
You can tell right from the beginning that there was a fake horse in the trailer. I've seen a lot of real horse's asses in my life. Literally.
I'm a Toro, you're a Toro, he's a Toro, she's a Toro. wouldn't you like to be a Toro too?
Uh oh. Bingo fuel.
"All Time High" has to be the most early Eighties song ever. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I guess it's the descending chords.
I doubt that Penelope Smallbone is related to Plenty O'Toole.
Fake egg. By Faberge. You cheap...
If I ever had a meeting in a room that revolved I would toss my bear claw.
500,000 pounds; cheap as chips!
200,000 rupees; that's what, a buck eighty?
The whole crushing thing was more impressive when Oddjob did it with a golf ball.
Stroke!
And then there's Maud. Again.
If Khan has the egg why does he need the chicken?
Bond escapes his cell with the help of his salsa pen.
Pigeons!
Hair dryers interfere with the listening device but Q is working on it.
Don't mind us, we're just hanging around.
I'll be hunting the greatest game of all: Man.
Look out! It's Carol Burnett! Seriously, did we really need the Tarzan yell? Is that the nadir of the Bond series?
Sucker.
I guess a duck on the head would have been out of place. When in India . . .
What exactly is the point of being a secret agent if everyone knows your name? I bet when he walks into Cheers everyone yells, "BOND!"
Next on BBC 2 it's Fishing with Q.
The truth hurts, 007.
It slices, it dices, it makes a wonderful potato salad.
Hey, it's Throwdini!
Tada! The East German judge gives him a 9.2.
Then we come to the most anticlimactic car chase ever.
I hate flying economy.
It's a cliffhanger.
James Bond will return in From a View to a Kill.
You can tell right from the beginning that there was a fake horse in the trailer. I've seen a lot of real horse's asses in my life. Literally.
I'm a Toro, you're a Toro, he's a Toro, she's a Toro. wouldn't you like to be a Toro too?
Uh oh. Bingo fuel.
"All Time High" has to be the most early Eighties song ever. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I guess it's the descending chords.
I doubt that Penelope Smallbone is related to Plenty O'Toole.
Fake egg. By Faberge. You cheap...
If I ever had a meeting in a room that revolved I would toss my bear claw.
500,000 pounds; cheap as chips!
200,000 rupees; that's what, a buck eighty?
The whole crushing thing was more impressive when Oddjob did it with a golf ball.
Stroke!
And then there's Maud. Again.
If Khan has the egg why does he need the chicken?
Bond escapes his cell with the help of his salsa pen.
Pigeons!
Hair dryers interfere with the listening device but Q is working on it.
Don't mind us, we're just hanging around.
I'll be hunting the greatest game of all: Man.
Look out! It's Carol Burnett! Seriously, did we really need the Tarzan yell? Is that the nadir of the Bond series?
Sucker.
I guess a duck on the head would have been out of place. When in India . . .
What exactly is the point of being a secret agent if everyone knows your name? I bet when he walks into Cheers everyone yells, "BOND!"
Next on BBC 2 it's Fishing with Q.
The truth hurts, 007.
It slices, it dices, it makes a wonderful potato salad.
Hey, it's Throwdini!
Tada! The East German judge gives him a 9.2.
Then we come to the most anticlimactic car chase ever.
I hate flying economy.
It's a cliffhanger.
James Bond will return in From a View to a Kill.
Monday, August 27, 2012
For Your Eyes Only
I really like this one. It has it's flaws but so do a lot of films. I'm not really a fan of the precredit sequence. It starts out well enough. It's nice to see the filmmakers keep up with the continuity of the series by having Bond laying flowers on Tracy's grave. However it soon goes all sorts of wrong. "I'll buy you a delicatessen. In stainless steel." Seriously!?!
I understand that it was a way to get the silliness over with and get on with a more serious story. In a way this was Roger Moore's On Her Majesty's Secret Service. That film had elements of humor but for the most part it was realistic. Well, as realistic as it gets in a Bond film.
Two words: Sheena Easton.
One problem is that Bill Conti's score kind of dates the film much in the same way that bad fashion dates the 70s films.
The same thing always happens to me when I play Minesweeper. Not really. I got pretty good at it but that was a very long time ago.
Carol Bouquet, in my opinion, is one of the most beautiful women to appear in a Bond movie. Not only her hair but those eyes. Wow. However, she isn't the world's best actress. I have to be fair here. Andy Warhol liked her. Is that a good or bad thing?
Remember when louvers on a car were cool? Neither do I.
The Citroen 2CV has to be one of the goofiest cars ever and that is saying quite a lot because all Citroens are goofy.
Rockford!
Yes Q, we are looking for Warren Zevon.
I want to drive the Zamboni!
Sleigh Ride!
Don't you love it when you come back to your hotel room and there is a crazy woman in the shower?
The Biathlon is not quite what I thought it was. Did they just pull two random sports out of a hat?
The music in the ski chase sounds like the soundtrack to The Saturday Sports Show.
That wino really gets around.
I went to Bond movie and a hockey game broke out.
Melina really knows her melons.
I can't decide if I like it or not when they incorporate the theme song into the score. Discuss.
Seriously!? Bond can't tell the difference between Liverpool and Manchester accents?
Speed Buggy, no!!!
Wait just a cotton picking minute. Let me get this straight: The good guys are the bad guys and the other way around?
Locque has bad karma.
At the time there was a bit of a controversy about Bond killing Locque in cold blood. Sean Connery could probably get away with it. Roger Moore was a totally different Bond, for better or worse.
I really didn't mind the scene. It was in keeping with the tone of the film. Had it been Moonraker or The Spy Who Loved Me then it would have been out of place.
The ocean is a big place but sometimes it can feel very claustrophobic.
Just how many guys in this movie look like Demetri Martin?
Who ever heard of a temperamental Olympic athlete?
Rock climbing, Joel.
It's always pigeons.
If Maggie Thatcher has All Bran for breakfast then why does she always seem so constipated?
Yet another controversy with this film had to do with the poster. Personally I liked it. It was the first Bond poster that didn't try to cram all of the elements of the movie onto it. It was very simple, effective, and evocative. And memorable.
There was also a bit of confusion as to who exactly the model was that posed for the picture. Three women claimed to be the one. As it turns out it was Joyce Bartle. I had never heard of her either until I read it in People. Go figure.
THIS MACHINE THANKS YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION. G O O D B Y E.
I understand that it was a way to get the silliness over with and get on with a more serious story. In a way this was Roger Moore's On Her Majesty's Secret Service. That film had elements of humor but for the most part it was realistic. Well, as realistic as it gets in a Bond film.
Two words: Sheena Easton.
One problem is that Bill Conti's score kind of dates the film much in the same way that bad fashion dates the 70s films.
The same thing always happens to me when I play Minesweeper. Not really. I got pretty good at it but that was a very long time ago.
Carol Bouquet, in my opinion, is one of the most beautiful women to appear in a Bond movie. Not only her hair but those eyes. Wow. However, she isn't the world's best actress. I have to be fair here. Andy Warhol liked her. Is that a good or bad thing?
Remember when louvers on a car were cool? Neither do I.
The Citroen 2CV has to be one of the goofiest cars ever and that is saying quite a lot because all Citroens are goofy.
Rockford!
Yes Q, we are looking for Warren Zevon.
I want to drive the Zamboni!
Sleigh Ride!
Don't you love it when you come back to your hotel room and there is a crazy woman in the shower?
The Biathlon is not quite what I thought it was. Did they just pull two random sports out of a hat?
The music in the ski chase sounds like the soundtrack to The Saturday Sports Show.
That wino really gets around.
I went to Bond movie and a hockey game broke out.
Melina really knows her melons.
I can't decide if I like it or not when they incorporate the theme song into the score. Discuss.
Seriously!? Bond can't tell the difference between Liverpool and Manchester accents?
Speed Buggy, no!!!
Wait just a cotton picking minute. Let me get this straight: The good guys are the bad guys and the other way around?
Locque has bad karma.
At the time there was a bit of a controversy about Bond killing Locque in cold blood. Sean Connery could probably get away with it. Roger Moore was a totally different Bond, for better or worse.
I really didn't mind the scene. It was in keeping with the tone of the film. Had it been Moonraker or The Spy Who Loved Me then it would have been out of place.
The ocean is a big place but sometimes it can feel very claustrophobic.
Just how many guys in this movie look like Demetri Martin?
Who ever heard of a temperamental Olympic athlete?
Rock climbing, Joel.
It's always pigeons.
If Maggie Thatcher has All Bran for breakfast then why does she always seem so constipated?
Yet another controversy with this film had to do with the poster. Personally I liked it. It was the first Bond poster that didn't try to cram all of the elements of the movie onto it. It was very simple, effective, and evocative. And memorable.
There was also a bit of confusion as to who exactly the model was that posed for the picture. Three women claimed to be the one. As it turns out it was Joyce Bartle. I had never heard of her either until I read it in People. Go figure.
THIS MACHINE THANKS YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION. G O O D B Y E.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Moonraker
Just give him a monkey and shoot him into space. Oh wait, this is not the early Seventies and this is not a cartoon.
I actually like this film. Starting with The Spy Who Loved Me they got on quite a roll.
On a sad note this is Bernard Lee's final appearance as M. I think that him and Judi Dench actually "got" the part. It's usually a small part but it is a very important one. M's relationship with Bond is very complicated and simple at the same time.
And now, on with the film.
Houston, we have a problem.
Never trust a guy in a rugby helmet.
Please welcome, Shirley Bassey! The only thing missing from The Spy Who Loved Me was a Shirley Bassey song.
Why would the US loan a shuttle to the British?
Remember the days when villains had weird beards?
Zeus, Apollo, sit!
I'm a big Michael Lonsdale fan going back to The Day of the Jackal. He was also brilliant in his cameo in Ronin. He would have made a great Master back in the day. He was a very laid back villain. Those can often be the most scary ones.
You spin me right round baby, right round like a record baby.
Jane! Stop this crazy thing!
I would so totally hurl.
Press the button all you want, the elevator won't come any faster.
So basically, if you want to stop something just shoot the instrument panel.
Hello, I'm Bond. James Bond.
007 cameras--you must get them in the stores for Christmas.
Quite a few pheasants were harmed in the making of this film.
That was pretty badass when Bond shot that guy in the tree.
Venini Glass; at least it wasn't Vinvocci.
If the gondola has an engine then why do you need the dude with the pole?
It was Commander Bond in the laboratory with the poison.
No one warned me about a ninja in a glass shop.
So, now all of a sudden he's Garth Brooks. Then explain to me why he is dressed like Johnny Cash.
Are you my mummy?
Remember the Concorde? It's how our grandparents used to get around in the late Twentieth Century. Good old supersonic flight.
Kitty!
Land Shark!
Looks like someone stitched a clown suit on Jaws.
7-Up; The Uncola.
Jaws found a friend. Awww.
The man with no name whose name is Bond, James Bond.
Boat chase!
Let's see David Copperfield go over a waterfall in a speedboat. Seriously. And take David Blaine with him.
An hour and a half into the film and Bond finally goes into space.
Take your protein pill and put your rugby helmet on.
Let me get this straight; a Frenchman is trying to create a perfect race. No offense but, what!?!
I must say that the special effects are very good. They still hold up today.
So, it's an ark in space. Wasn't that an episode of Doctor Who?
Dr. Goodhead really knows how to go down a pole.
Q: Where does the General get all his women? A: The Gogol Bordello.
Jaws isn't stupid after all. That was nice to see.
It's a party at zero G.
Use the force, James.
James Bond will return in For Your Eyes Only.
I promise.
Oh, now I get it. Bollinger '69.
I actually like this film. Starting with The Spy Who Loved Me they got on quite a roll.
On a sad note this is Bernard Lee's final appearance as M. I think that him and Judi Dench actually "got" the part. It's usually a small part but it is a very important one. M's relationship with Bond is very complicated and simple at the same time.
And now, on with the film.
Houston, we have a problem.
Never trust a guy in a rugby helmet.
Please welcome, Shirley Bassey! The only thing missing from The Spy Who Loved Me was a Shirley Bassey song.
Why would the US loan a shuttle to the British?
Remember the days when villains had weird beards?
Zeus, Apollo, sit!
I'm a big Michael Lonsdale fan going back to The Day of the Jackal. He was also brilliant in his cameo in Ronin. He would have made a great Master back in the day. He was a very laid back villain. Those can often be the most scary ones.
You spin me right round baby, right round like a record baby.
Jane! Stop this crazy thing!
I would so totally hurl.
Press the button all you want, the elevator won't come any faster.
So basically, if you want to stop something just shoot the instrument panel.
Hello, I'm Bond. James Bond.
007 cameras--you must get them in the stores for Christmas.
Quite a few pheasants were harmed in the making of this film.
That was pretty badass when Bond shot that guy in the tree.
Venini Glass; at least it wasn't Vinvocci.
If the gondola has an engine then why do you need the dude with the pole?
It was Commander Bond in the laboratory with the poison.
No one warned me about a ninja in a glass shop.
So, now all of a sudden he's Garth Brooks. Then explain to me why he is dressed like Johnny Cash.
Are you my mummy?
Remember the Concorde? It's how our grandparents used to get around in the late Twentieth Century. Good old supersonic flight.
Kitty!
Land Shark!
Looks like someone stitched a clown suit on Jaws.
7-Up; The Uncola.
Jaws found a friend. Awww.
The man with no name whose name is Bond, James Bond.
Boat chase!
Let's see David Copperfield go over a waterfall in a speedboat. Seriously. And take David Blaine with him.
An hour and a half into the film and Bond finally goes into space.
Take your protein pill and put your rugby helmet on.
Let me get this straight; a Frenchman is trying to create a perfect race. No offense but, what!?!
I must say that the special effects are very good. They still hold up today.
So, it's an ark in space. Wasn't that an episode of Doctor Who?
Dr. Goodhead really knows how to go down a pole.
Q: Where does the General get all his women? A: The Gogol Bordello.
Jaws isn't stupid after all. That was nice to see.
It's a party at zero G.
Use the force, James.
James Bond will return in For Your Eyes Only.
I promise.
Oh, now I get it. Bollinger '69.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
The Spy Who Loved Me
Or as Roger Moore likes to call it; "Fishfinger" for it's resemblance to Goldfinger. That is only partially correct. In a way it's a mashup of stuff that worked in the Sixties. By the way, do fish have fingers?
TSWLM works because the writers finally found the right tone. Moore is no Sean Connery but there is nothing wrong with that. I'm a honorary Sean Connery.
One of our subs is missing. By "ours" I mean the British Royal Navy. That's okay because one of theirs is missing as well. By "theirs" I mean the Commies.
"I'll put our best man on it." If you can't find him send 007. At least that's the subtext I heard.
A Seiko digital watch with a built in Avery label maker? Sounds like the ideal Christmas gift for your favorite anal retentive geek.
Best precredit sequence ever?
Music by the recently departed Marvin Hamlisch. Let's say that it's very 1970s and leave it at that. Seriously, he did a good job. I like the way that he incorporated the twangy guitar sound into the film at key points.
A Union flag parachute always makes me smile.
May I take a moment to say that I love Carly Simon?
If 007 is Commander Bond then Q must be Major Exposition.
That's a long dinner table. I bet that it's even longer than the SPECTRE conference table.
This is the first of the films with Roger Moore that actually looks like a Bond film. This is due to Production Designer Ken Adam who made the iconic sets during the Sean Connery era. I wish that he had made the sets for The Man with the Golden Gun.
I think you're going to need a bigger lair.
See what happens when you start congratulating yourselves before the check clears?
It's always a buzz kill when a woman brings up the late wife.
Mosh!
Is this Richard Kiel's audition reel for the part of Marvin the telephone repairman on Alice?
It could have been worse. They could have tried to make their escape in a Reliant Robin.
At least it wasn't one of Q's explosive cigarettes.
I always thought "M" was a randomly selected initial, I had no idea it stood for "Miles."
Another train, another fight on a train. Ah, the Lotus Esprit. It's no Aston Martin but then again Aston Martin wasn't exactly Aston Martin in the 70s.
Sidecar=evil.
Serpentine!
Roads?! Where we're going we don't need roads!
It's all gone a bit Thunderball.
It's the explosive hockey puck from Mighty Ducks 4: If You Can't Beat 'Em, Puck 'Em.
And the penny drops.
Okay, now one of our subs is missing.
Yes, that is Shane Rimmer playing the part of Commander Carter. You may remember him from Doctor Who "The Gunfighters."
Know how I know that it's an evil lair? It has linear induction vehicles. Linear induction vehicles are the new monorail.
It's all gone a bit You Only Live Twice.
Come one guys! They're not that hard to miss, they're wearing orange jumpsuits.
It's the world's most dangerous game of Operation.
Boy, I thought that I typed slowly. At least I use more than two fingers.
"I have to get her off." Better use more than two fingers.
Sometimes you bite the shark and sometimes the shark bites you.
James Bond will return in For Your Eyes Only.
Eventually.
TSWLM works because the writers finally found the right tone. Moore is no Sean Connery but there is nothing wrong with that. I'm a honorary Sean Connery.
One of our subs is missing. By "ours" I mean the British Royal Navy. That's okay because one of theirs is missing as well. By "theirs" I mean the Commies.
"I'll put our best man on it." If you can't find him send 007. At least that's the subtext I heard.
A Seiko digital watch with a built in Avery label maker? Sounds like the ideal Christmas gift for your favorite anal retentive geek.
Best precredit sequence ever?
Music by the recently departed Marvin Hamlisch. Let's say that it's very 1970s and leave it at that. Seriously, he did a good job. I like the way that he incorporated the twangy guitar sound into the film at key points.
A Union flag parachute always makes me smile.
May I take a moment to say that I love Carly Simon?
If 007 is Commander Bond then Q must be Major Exposition.
That's a long dinner table. I bet that it's even longer than the SPECTRE conference table.
This is the first of the films with Roger Moore that actually looks like a Bond film. This is due to Production Designer Ken Adam who made the iconic sets during the Sean Connery era. I wish that he had made the sets for The Man with the Golden Gun.
I think you're going to need a bigger lair.
See what happens when you start congratulating yourselves before the check clears?
It's always a buzz kill when a woman brings up the late wife.
Mosh!
Is this Richard Kiel's audition reel for the part of Marvin the telephone repairman on Alice?
It could have been worse. They could have tried to make their escape in a Reliant Robin.
At least it wasn't one of Q's explosive cigarettes.
I always thought "M" was a randomly selected initial, I had no idea it stood for "Miles."
Another train, another fight on a train. Ah, the Lotus Esprit. It's no Aston Martin but then again Aston Martin wasn't exactly Aston Martin in the 70s.
Sidecar=evil.
Serpentine!
Roads?! Where we're going we don't need roads!
It's all gone a bit Thunderball.
It's the explosive hockey puck from Mighty Ducks 4: If You Can't Beat 'Em, Puck 'Em.
And the penny drops.
Okay, now one of our subs is missing.
Yes, that is Shane Rimmer playing the part of Commander Carter. You may remember him from Doctor Who "The Gunfighters."
Know how I know that it's an evil lair? It has linear induction vehicles. Linear induction vehicles are the new monorail.
It's all gone a bit You Only Live Twice.
Come one guys! They're not that hard to miss, they're wearing orange jumpsuits.
It's the world's most dangerous game of Operation.
Boy, I thought that I typed slowly. At least I use more than two fingers.
"I have to get her off." Better use more than two fingers.
Sometimes you bite the shark and sometimes the shark bites you.
James Bond will return in For Your Eyes Only.
Eventually.
Monday, August 6, 2012
The Man with the Golden Gun
Black Velvet if you please. I actually saw Alannah Myles once. Not on purpose. It wasn't my fault. She was opening for Robert Plant. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. That was also the last time I went to the Gold Club. I think.
And then there's Maud!
Wait just a cotton picking minute. Does Scaramanga have stirrups on his track pants? Stirrup pants give me nightmares. They give me flashbacks to the Nineties.
Holy crap, I was wrong. It's actually a onesie.
Is that Randy Newman on piano?
Lulu? Well, at least it wasn't Lulu Roman.
Brut. By Faberge. You cheap mother...
Hi, Q!
And then there's Maud in the shower.
Ever get the feeling that you've been stood up?
Yeah, yeah. I'm Hip, I'm Hip.
Welcome aboard MC Esher's boat Commander Bond.
Hi, Hai!
Those dudes in blue look like an Asian Grand Funk Railroad cover band.
I assure you that Cary Grant never said, "Judo, Judo, Judo."
I hate pushy salesmen.
If Bond had taken a shop class or two he would know about the fuel shutoff switch.
"The bottom one has a homer in it." Chicks dig the long ball.
"I'm dreaming of a Solex Agitator" was a lesser hit for Bing Crosby. By the way, who had more hits, Bing or Gary?
Kickboxing is the sport of the future.
In a way Andrea's death was one of the most sad. I think that it's the look on her face. It gets me every time. Sorry for the downer.
AMCs? Seriously? Kind of makes me wish that I hadn't complained about all the Fords. Kind of.
Look up in the sky! It's a car! It's a plane! It's a car/plane!
Oh, now Bond prefers the '62. I guess in the Sixties it's the even numbered years that are good.
With that jacket Bond looks like he should be selling AMCs.
Why is Scaramanga dressed like a Cuban uncle?
Now I know why Al Gore is such a proponent of solar power.
What you going to do now that you dropped your gun?
Bond should know by now that the henchman always shows up at the end.
And then there's Maud!
Wait just a cotton picking minute. Does Scaramanga have stirrups on his track pants? Stirrup pants give me nightmares. They give me flashbacks to the Nineties.
Holy crap, I was wrong. It's actually a onesie.
Is that Randy Newman on piano?
Lulu? Well, at least it wasn't Lulu Roman.
Brut. By Faberge. You cheap mother...
Hi, Q!
And then there's Maud in the shower.
Ever get the feeling that you've been stood up?
Yeah, yeah. I'm Hip, I'm Hip.
Welcome aboard MC Esher's boat Commander Bond.
Hi, Hai!
Those dudes in blue look like an Asian Grand Funk Railroad cover band.
I assure you that Cary Grant never said, "Judo, Judo, Judo."
I hate pushy salesmen.
If Bond had taken a shop class or two he would know about the fuel shutoff switch.
"The bottom one has a homer in it." Chicks dig the long ball.
"I'm dreaming of a Solex Agitator" was a lesser hit for Bing Crosby. By the way, who had more hits, Bing or Gary?
Kickboxing is the sport of the future.
In a way Andrea's death was one of the most sad. I think that it's the look on her face. It gets me every time. Sorry for the downer.
AMCs? Seriously? Kind of makes me wish that I hadn't complained about all the Fords. Kind of.
Look up in the sky! It's a car! It's a plane! It's a car/plane!
Oh, now Bond prefers the '62. I guess in the Sixties it's the even numbered years that are good.
With that jacket Bond looks like he should be selling AMCs.
Why is Scaramanga dressed like a Cuban uncle?
Now I know why Al Gore is such a proponent of solar power.
What you going to do now that you dropped your gun?
Bond should know by now that the henchman always shows up at the end.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Live And Let Die
Nothing livens up a meeting more than someone dying.
A lot of people make fun of the theme song but I really like it. Then again Paul McCartney is my favorite Beatle. I know it's not something that someone should admit but I did. So there.
A digital watch, really Bond. I guess that we are in the Seventies after all.
I didn't know that M stood for "Morning wake up call."
Some people watch Bond films and want to be a spy. I watch Bond films and want to be a barista.
Why the hell does Bond have metal chickens on his kitchen wall? I guess that Harry Saltzman must have gotten a product placement deal with HomeGoods or something.
A monogrammed dressing gown? Sad. Just sad.
That Pan Am jet was on the screen longer than Pan Am the series was on ABC.
Yet another Leiter. This time it's David Hedison, the first actor to play the part twice. That is a minor miracle in a way.
For me anyway, a Bond film that takes place in America is a bit of a disappointment. I live in America and I see it every day. It's not that I don't like looking at America, it's just that the Bond films usually take place in parts of the world that most of us will never see.
"What's a Texas Cadillac doing in New York City?" "I don't know. Let's see what it's got under the hood."
Those have to be the ugliest cars in any film ever.
Dr. Quinn, Black Magic Woman
George Martin jazzed up the "James Bond Theme" without making it sound cheesy. That's not an easy thing to do.
007 tarot cards? That's a little too meta even for me.
Tee Hee!
That bendy dude is kind of creepy.
Now Bond has moved on to Bollinger. He must have finished off all the Dom Perignon.
Snakes. I hate snakes.
Doesn't Bond know better than to mess with a lady's wig? That's a good way to get yourself seriously injured.
A leisure suit with a wife beater? Wow. Just wow?
Hello Quarrel, Jr. Hope you don't end up like your dad.
So, if you have sex with Bond it causes you to lose your mojo? Fair trade?
Is there any vehicle that Bond doesn't destroy?
In the 70s it wasn't enough for Bond to get into a fight or be in some kind of peril, there had to be some kind of chase and/or an overly elaborate stunt.
I guess it would have been far too obvious if Mrs Bell had been called "Mrs Webb."
Tee Hee!
I've been to an alligator farm. It really wasn't by choice. It's what you do in Florida.
I'm in a boat chase!
It's not a 1970s movie without a redneck sheriff.
In Diamonds are Forever everyone seems to make a big deal about the flub. You know, the one with the Mach 1. Yet no one ever mentions the fact that in Live and Let Die 007 is seen in the boat with the inboard motor before he makes the switch. Why is that?
That's not how you pole dance.
Ah, the old buzz saw watch gag. Gotta love a classic.
I guess you could say that it was a farewell to arm.
Tee Hee!
A lot of people make fun of the theme song but I really like it. Then again Paul McCartney is my favorite Beatle. I know it's not something that someone should admit but I did. So there.
A digital watch, really Bond. I guess that we are in the Seventies after all.
I didn't know that M stood for "Morning wake up call."
Some people watch Bond films and want to be a spy. I watch Bond films and want to be a barista.
Why the hell does Bond have metal chickens on his kitchen wall? I guess that Harry Saltzman must have gotten a product placement deal with HomeGoods or something.
A monogrammed dressing gown? Sad. Just sad.
That Pan Am jet was on the screen longer than Pan Am the series was on ABC.
Yet another Leiter. This time it's David Hedison, the first actor to play the part twice. That is a minor miracle in a way.
For me anyway, a Bond film that takes place in America is a bit of a disappointment. I live in America and I see it every day. It's not that I don't like looking at America, it's just that the Bond films usually take place in parts of the world that most of us will never see.
"What's a Texas Cadillac doing in New York City?" "I don't know. Let's see what it's got under the hood."
Those have to be the ugliest cars in any film ever.
Dr. Quinn, Black Magic Woman
George Martin jazzed up the "James Bond Theme" without making it sound cheesy. That's not an easy thing to do.
007 tarot cards? That's a little too meta even for me.
Tee Hee!
That bendy dude is kind of creepy.
Now Bond has moved on to Bollinger. He must have finished off all the Dom Perignon.
Snakes. I hate snakes.
Doesn't Bond know better than to mess with a lady's wig? That's a good way to get yourself seriously injured.
A leisure suit with a wife beater? Wow. Just wow?
Hello Quarrel, Jr. Hope you don't end up like your dad.
So, if you have sex with Bond it causes you to lose your mojo? Fair trade?
Is there any vehicle that Bond doesn't destroy?
In the 70s it wasn't enough for Bond to get into a fight or be in some kind of peril, there had to be some kind of chase and/or an overly elaborate stunt.
I guess it would have been far too obvious if Mrs Bell had been called "Mrs Webb."
Tee Hee!
I've been to an alligator farm. It really wasn't by choice. It's what you do in Florida.
I'm in a boat chase!
It's not a 1970s movie without a redneck sheriff.
In Diamonds are Forever everyone seems to make a big deal about the flub. You know, the one with the Mach 1. Yet no one ever mentions the fact that in Live and Let Die 007 is seen in the boat with the inboard motor before he makes the switch. Why is that?
That's not how you pole dance.
Ah, the old buzz saw watch gag. Gotta love a classic.
I guess you could say that it was a farewell to arm.
Tee Hee!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Diamonds Are Forever
Welcome to the 1970s Mister Bond.
It seems to me at least that the 60s Bond films are timeless classics, while the 70s films often feel dated. Then again the 70s was quite an odd decade. To say the least.
I guess a lot of it has to do with fashion or lack of it. Then there are the cars. For the most part they were bloated versions of the cars we loved in the 60s.
Then again I grew up in the 70s so I actually remember what was going on. Mostly. A lot of stuff I cannot forget no matter how hard I try. So, in a way the 70s don't seem foreign to me.
Fezzes are cool.
At least when they change the actor who plays Blofeld they try to explain it. Okay, plastic surgery isn't the best explanation in the world but it is an explanation none the less. Give them credit for trying. Or don't. Do what you want to do. Don't listen to me.
Ah, the old mousetrap in the holster gag. You gotta love a classic. I think it was invented by Doc Holliday. I could be wrong.
You just knew that the film was going to start with Bond getting his get back.
In a way they were trying to recreate the magic of Goldfinger--Guy Hamilton is the director and Shirley Bassey is performing the theme song. It's very hard for lightning to strike twice. Hell, if it happens once you should consider yourself lucky.
Diamond smuggling montage!
Oh look, it's the Mythbusters!
Miss Moneypenny hitting on a widower. Has she no shame?
Why is 007 kissing a woman with man hands? Oh wait. Never mind.
Connery's German accent is no better than his Russian.
It seems that Felix Leiter must have pissed off someone pretty important to get stuck in Customs. Once more and he'll end up at the TSA.
How many times are Wint and Kidd going to steal those same diamonds?
Operation: Passover? I wonder what Operation: Simchat Torah is going to be. Does it involve lox? Wednesday? I can't Wednesday. It's Operation: Simchat Torah.
An elephant playing slots? I'm not going to touch that one.
Brown four-door LTD; worst Bond car ever?
As for Tiffany Case's 1971 Mach 1, Mustangs stopped being cool in 1969. Some say that Bond films stopped being cool then as well. Not me of course.
Stuff I learned from Bond films: You can't be too careful with radiation.
So that's where they filmed the moon landing!
The Moon Buggy may be a bit goofy but it's still better than a brown four-door LTD.
Here come the ATVs. All of a sudden this film has turned into a Big Country video.
Use of unnecessary force in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers HAS been approved.
The night of too many Blofelds.
"The right idea but the wrong pussy." Happens every time I go to Vegas.
They'll have fun, fun, fun, until daddy takes their brown 1971 T-Bird away.
Oh, that's how you lay pipe in Vegas.
You think your tie is short enough, Mister Bond? It's Rio Ferdinand short. It's Clyde Langer short.
Why does 007 sound like Tommy Lee Jones?
Willard Whyte: the sausage king of Las Vegas.
I didn't know that Dame Edith Everage had a cat.
Safety Tip #71: Sweep your helipad daily. You never know who's going to show up.
Bubble Boy!
"If in doubt, ask." If you have to ask.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
On Her Majesty's Secret Service
And now we come to the most polarizing of the Bond films. Some of you may say that there is nothing polarizing about it. It's the one with George Lazenby and therefore it isn't good. Case closed.
Then again there are a lot of you who say that OHMSS is their favorite. And I do mean a lot. Ask around. I'll wait.
As far as I am concerned, not that anyone cares, it is one of my favorites, and may be the best. I really like Casino Royale, the one with Daniel Craig obviously, so I would say that OHMSS is the best of the Bond films from the Sixties. So there.
It starts off with Q in M's office discussing radioactive lint. It really is a great way to start. It builds up anticipation. You know that Bond is up to something but you have no idea what it is.
M wears bow ties now. Bow ties are cool.
I really like Tracy's Mercury Cougar. At least it wasn't another Mustang. I'm sure it had more to do with the Ford Motor Company than an aesthetic choice.
There was a period in my life where I preferred the DBS in this film over the DB5. Yes, I know that is a bit sacrilegious but this is that sort of movie. I came back around later.
A woman going into the ocean. You don't see that in a lot of Bond films.
When the titles come on I usually just ignore the clips and look at the naked ladies. I'm just funny that way.
Dom Perignon '57; it must only be good in odd numbered years.
You gotta love the ruffled tuxedo shirt. It reminds me of Senior picture day in high school. Yes, I protested.
You don't see cigarette boxes that much anymore. Th last one I remember belonged to Johnny Carson. You don't see classy cigarette cases either.
We finally get to see 007's office. I never thought of him as the sentimental type.
Diana Rigg and a riding crop. I'll stop there.
Montage!
If you noticed in You Only Live Twice Bond had a device that cracked a safe in less than a minute. The one he has here seems to take forever. then again it was attached to a copier. Maybe that was part of the problem.
If you look carefully at the back of the newspaper that Campbell is reading the headline says, "Why Brown had to go." Even in 1969 they were trying to get rid of Gordon.
"That is avalanche damage." Sounds like the name of an evil henchman.
Lazenby looks almost as good as I do in a kilt.
Is that the Alpine Room or is it Castle Anthrax? Too bad there wasn't any spanking. Kidding.
It seems that Sir Hilary Bray was the original "Goldenballs."
Count de Bleuchamp--who loves ya baby?
Oh! That's how you use a slide rule. No wonder I didn't get into MIT.
"It's true!" What? The bit about the lipstick?
Wait just a minute. Is that the voice of Blofeld or is it Ian McKenna?
Pocket Mittens; now that's a million dollar idea.
And now we come to the first of many Bond skiing scenes. Like the underwater scenes in Thunderball the first is usually the best. Your results may vary.
Did 007 steal those goggles from Carol Channing?
What this film needs is more cowbell.
And more stock car racing. Seriously, that is one of the most underrated cars chases in film history. I like it better than Bullitt. Then again, I am the only person who saw Bullitt and said, "I prefer the Dodge Charger."
Bond is saving himself for the wedding night? Say it isn't so, 007! But, like a lot of "Promise Keepers" it didn't last very long.
In case of avalanche--lean into it.
And then Bond went rogue.
Of course Blofeld had been watching old episodes of Superman--when you run out of ammo toss the gun at him.
Seriously, that has to be the world's longest bobsled run.
I really felt bad for Miss Moneypenny. You know she loves Bond very much. And I'm sure that he loves her too.
Three girls and three boys as a wedding present? Tracy is talking about children, right?
Tracy's death is one of the saddest moments, not only in Bond films but in any film. Say what you will about Lazenby but he played it perfectly.
I do wonder about the filmmakers to have the film end with the "James Bond Theme." In a way it undercuts the final scene. Maybe they should have stayed with the score.
Then on the other hand I totally get it. You immediately know that Bond will get his revenge. It's what he does.
Then again there are a lot of you who say that OHMSS is their favorite. And I do mean a lot. Ask around. I'll wait.
As far as I am concerned, not that anyone cares, it is one of my favorites, and may be the best. I really like Casino Royale, the one with Daniel Craig obviously, so I would say that OHMSS is the best of the Bond films from the Sixties. So there.
It starts off with Q in M's office discussing radioactive lint. It really is a great way to start. It builds up anticipation. You know that Bond is up to something but you have no idea what it is.
M wears bow ties now. Bow ties are cool.
I really like Tracy's Mercury Cougar. At least it wasn't another Mustang. I'm sure it had more to do with the Ford Motor Company than an aesthetic choice.
There was a period in my life where I preferred the DBS in this film over the DB5. Yes, I know that is a bit sacrilegious but this is that sort of movie. I came back around later.
A woman going into the ocean. You don't see that in a lot of Bond films.
When the titles come on I usually just ignore the clips and look at the naked ladies. I'm just funny that way.
Dom Perignon '57; it must only be good in odd numbered years.
You gotta love the ruffled tuxedo shirt. It reminds me of Senior picture day in high school. Yes, I protested.
You don't see cigarette boxes that much anymore. Th last one I remember belonged to Johnny Carson. You don't see classy cigarette cases either.
We finally get to see 007's office. I never thought of him as the sentimental type.
Diana Rigg and a riding crop. I'll stop there.
Montage!
If you noticed in You Only Live Twice Bond had a device that cracked a safe in less than a minute. The one he has here seems to take forever. then again it was attached to a copier. Maybe that was part of the problem.
If you look carefully at the back of the newspaper that Campbell is reading the headline says, "Why Brown had to go." Even in 1969 they were trying to get rid of Gordon.
"That is avalanche damage." Sounds like the name of an evil henchman.
Lazenby looks almost as good as I do in a kilt.
Is that the Alpine Room or is it Castle Anthrax? Too bad there wasn't any spanking. Kidding.
It seems that Sir Hilary Bray was the original "Goldenballs."
Count de Bleuchamp--who loves ya baby?
Oh! That's how you use a slide rule. No wonder I didn't get into MIT.
"It's true!" What? The bit about the lipstick?
Wait just a minute. Is that the voice of Blofeld or is it Ian McKenna?
Pocket Mittens; now that's a million dollar idea.
And now we come to the first of many Bond skiing scenes. Like the underwater scenes in Thunderball the first is usually the best. Your results may vary.
Did 007 steal those goggles from Carol Channing?
What this film needs is more cowbell.
And more stock car racing. Seriously, that is one of the most underrated cars chases in film history. I like it better than Bullitt. Then again, I am the only person who saw Bullitt and said, "I prefer the Dodge Charger."
Bond is saving himself for the wedding night? Say it isn't so, 007! But, like a lot of "Promise Keepers" it didn't last very long.
In case of avalanche--lean into it.
And then Bond went rogue.
Of course Blofeld had been watching old episodes of Superman--when you run out of ammo toss the gun at him.
Seriously, that has to be the world's longest bobsled run.
I really felt bad for Miss Moneypenny. You know she loves Bond very much. And I'm sure that he loves her too.
Three girls and three boys as a wedding present? Tracy is talking about children, right?
Tracy's death is one of the saddest moments, not only in Bond films but in any film. Say what you will about Lazenby but he played it perfectly.
I do wonder about the filmmakers to have the film end with the "James Bond Theme." In a way it undercuts the final scene. Maybe they should have stayed with the score.
Then on the other hand I totally get it. You immediately know that Bond will get his revenge. It's what he does.
Monday, July 9, 2012
You Only Live Twice
In some ways this is the forgotten Bond film. Don't believe me? Go around the office and ask anyone to name five or even ten Bond films and see how many time it comes up. Of course there is the office geek, every office has one, who will start reeling them off in chronological order.
I really love the theme song. You may have heard it recently in the season finale of Mad Men. If not: SPOILER!!! Oh, and it is the one that Robbie Williams sampled in "Millennium." But you already knew that.
It's not exactly one of the best nor is it one of the worst. It kind of just is. It's like when you cook a pot of stew and it tastes like something is missing and for the life of you you can't figure out what it is.
The only thing people remember about the film is the volcano lair and even then most of them cannot remember which film it's from. Ask and ye shall find out. See just how many people answer with Dr. No.
It's weird now to think that the script was written by Roald Dahl. Yes, the guy who wrote Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. And it was directed by Lewis Gilbert whose previous film was Alfie. No, I am not going to do any what's it all about jokes.
One of our spacecraft is missing. I wonder where it could've gone. It was right here a minute ago.
James Bond--promoting stereotypes around the world since the 1950s.
And now you know why I don't like Murphy beds.
Are you my mummy? It had to be said.
Faking your own death is all the rage these days. Every TV show seems to be doing it.
I thought only crazy people in New York City talked into their purse. Okay, that was more than a bit redundant.
I really liked the Toyota 2000 GT. I don't think that they were ever imported to the US. If they were I never saw one. The one in the film was specially made because Toyota didn't make a convertible version. They should have because it was really nice. It's one of my favorite cars that wasn't supplied by Q Branch.
Okay, it's fairly obvious that I'm a Mopar guy but having said that, of all the cool cars that Chrysler made in 1967 why did they choose the four door version of the Coronet? I guess that they needed a four door car. At least it wasn't yet another Ford.
Pay attention to the scene where Bond is cracking the safe. It will come up later, and by later I mean another film. Some of you already know what I am on about.
"Never get into a car with a strange girl." Really? How do you think that I have gotten anywhere in this world. A bicycle will only get you so far.
Fifty containers of Lox and no bagels? Who the hell is in charge of purchasing around here. What good is a shmeer if you have nothing to shmeer it on?
Okay, it's time for little things that bug me for no good reason. Bond is watching the helicopter on the monitor in the car; so where exactly is the camera? Answer on a postcard to the usual address c/o Universal Exports.
It seems that there is always a crazy redhead that wants to kill you. The stories I cannot tell.
Ninja school is a lot like high school but with a lot fewer weapons.
It must be an evil lair--it has a monorail.
For a split second there I thought that 007 was going into space but that would be silly. Right?
Yet again Bond ends a mission on a boat with a girl.
James Bond will be back On Her Majesty's Secret Service.
I really love the theme song. You may have heard it recently in the season finale of Mad Men. If not: SPOILER!!! Oh, and it is the one that Robbie Williams sampled in "Millennium." But you already knew that.
It's not exactly one of the best nor is it one of the worst. It kind of just is. It's like when you cook a pot of stew and it tastes like something is missing and for the life of you you can't figure out what it is.
The only thing people remember about the film is the volcano lair and even then most of them cannot remember which film it's from. Ask and ye shall find out. See just how many people answer with Dr. No.
It's weird now to think that the script was written by Roald Dahl. Yes, the guy who wrote Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. And it was directed by Lewis Gilbert whose previous film was Alfie. No, I am not going to do any what's it all about jokes.
One of our spacecraft is missing. I wonder where it could've gone. It was right here a minute ago.
James Bond--promoting stereotypes around the world since the 1950s.
And now you know why I don't like Murphy beds.
Are you my mummy? It had to be said.
Faking your own death is all the rage these days. Every TV show seems to be doing it.
I thought only crazy people in New York City talked into their purse. Okay, that was more than a bit redundant.
I really liked the Toyota 2000 GT. I don't think that they were ever imported to the US. If they were I never saw one. The one in the film was specially made because Toyota didn't make a convertible version. They should have because it was really nice. It's one of my favorite cars that wasn't supplied by Q Branch.
Okay, it's fairly obvious that I'm a Mopar guy but having said that, of all the cool cars that Chrysler made in 1967 why did they choose the four door version of the Coronet? I guess that they needed a four door car. At least it wasn't yet another Ford.
Pay attention to the scene where Bond is cracking the safe. It will come up later, and by later I mean another film. Some of you already know what I am on about.
"Never get into a car with a strange girl." Really? How do you think that I have gotten anywhere in this world. A bicycle will only get you so far.
Fifty containers of Lox and no bagels? Who the hell is in charge of purchasing around here. What good is a shmeer if you have nothing to shmeer it on?
Okay, it's time for little things that bug me for no good reason. Bond is watching the helicopter on the monitor in the car; so where exactly is the camera? Answer on a postcard to the usual address c/o Universal Exports.
It seems that there is always a crazy redhead that wants to kill you. The stories I cannot tell.
Ninja school is a lot like high school but with a lot fewer weapons.
It must be an evil lair--it has a monorail.
For a split second there I thought that 007 was going into space but that would be silly. Right?
Yet again Bond ends a mission on a boat with a girl.
James Bond will be back On Her Majesty's Secret Service.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Thunderball
Remember the good old days? We were promised jet packs. Oh, and always wear your safety helmet.
The DB5 looks a little worse for wear.
Welsh superstar, Tom Jones!
This is Maurice Binder's first title sequence since Dr. No. It's the best one so far.
It's also the last Bond film directed by Terence Young. Whether or not it is his best is up to you to decide.
Leiter number three; Rik Van Nutter, who appeared in such films as The Revenge of Ivanhoe and Romanoff and Juliet. They're in my queue.
I've been to business meeting like SPECTRE's but at least we had donuts. Then there is the mission briefing. Do you think that M could have found a bigger space to hold it in? It looked positively cramped in there.
If Bond keeps speaking to Moneypenny that way he's going to get a call from HR. Then he's going to have to watch the sexual harassment film. Again.
I think he was using the traction table wrong. It looks like something out of David Cronenberg's 50 Shades of Grey.
"Come on, get into his pajamas." I've always wanted a woman to say that to me.
I'm surprised that they didn't market a line of 007 Love Gloves. They had every other market covered in the Sixties.
Were you expecting Claude Rains beneath those bandages?
A plane making a water landing--are we supposed to believe that? In case of water landing the seat belt will stick--it's a film law.
"Handle Like Eggs" Really?! Is that how you are supposed to handle a bomb? I should have that on a t-shirt.
Disco Volante was a lesser known hit for the Bee Gees.
And then along comes Fione Volpe on her BatCycle to save the day. You knew it was only a matter of time before something like that cropped up.
James Bond has more "meet cute" stories than all the Meg Ryan and Julia Roberts movies combined.
Martine Beswick is back! Yay! At least she's not in a gypsy girl-fight this time. Too bad Paula had to die.
Domino has an ankle bracelet. At least it's not a toe ring.
Dom Perignon '55? Must have been out of the '53.
Good ol' Q. There he is looking like every one's dad on holiday. At least he brought along a Breitling Geiger counter to count your Geigers. Them little buggers are hard to keep track of.
Sean Connery walking out of the water didn't have quite the same effect on me as Ursula Andress. Take that to mean what you will.
Speaking of Ms Andress, Claudine Auger is also one one my favorite Bond Women. There, I said it.
Mandals? Are we supposed to take you seriously Mr Bond?
Fiona's line about Bond's ability to make women repent shows an incredible amount of self awareness on the part of screenwriters Richard Maibaum and John Hopkins. Too bad other screenwriters didn't pick up on that.
Hey, look! It's Mister Peanut!
I shot the shark, but I didn't shoot the manta ray.
The only real complaint about is how they sped up the film at the end. It looks really cheesy. It's almost surreal. Still, at the end of the day it is a great movie.
What's a Thunderball anyway?
The DB5 looks a little worse for wear.
Welsh superstar, Tom Jones!
This is Maurice Binder's first title sequence since Dr. No. It's the best one so far.
It's also the last Bond film directed by Terence Young. Whether or not it is his best is up to you to decide.
Leiter number three; Rik Van Nutter, who appeared in such films as The Revenge of Ivanhoe and Romanoff and Juliet. They're in my queue.
I've been to business meeting like SPECTRE's but at least we had donuts. Then there is the mission briefing. Do you think that M could have found a bigger space to hold it in? It looked positively cramped in there.
If Bond keeps speaking to Moneypenny that way he's going to get a call from HR. Then he's going to have to watch the sexual harassment film. Again.
I think he was using the traction table wrong. It looks like something out of David Cronenberg's 50 Shades of Grey.
"Come on, get into his pajamas." I've always wanted a woman to say that to me.
I'm surprised that they didn't market a line of 007 Love Gloves. They had every other market covered in the Sixties.
Were you expecting Claude Rains beneath those bandages?
A plane making a water landing--are we supposed to believe that? In case of water landing the seat belt will stick--it's a film law.
"Handle Like Eggs" Really?! Is that how you are supposed to handle a bomb? I should have that on a t-shirt.
Disco Volante was a lesser known hit for the Bee Gees.
And then along comes Fione Volpe on her BatCycle to save the day. You knew it was only a matter of time before something like that cropped up.
James Bond has more "meet cute" stories than all the Meg Ryan and Julia Roberts movies combined.
Martine Beswick is back! Yay! At least she's not in a gypsy girl-fight this time. Too bad Paula had to die.
Domino has an ankle bracelet. At least it's not a toe ring.
Dom Perignon '55? Must have been out of the '53.
Good ol' Q. There he is looking like every one's dad on holiday. At least he brought along a Breitling Geiger counter to count your Geigers. Them little buggers are hard to keep track of.
Sean Connery walking out of the water didn't have quite the same effect on me as Ursula Andress. Take that to mean what you will.
Speaking of Ms Andress, Claudine Auger is also one one my favorite Bond Women. There, I said it.
Mandals? Are we supposed to take you seriously Mr Bond?
Fiona's line about Bond's ability to make women repent shows an incredible amount of self awareness on the part of screenwriters Richard Maibaum and John Hopkins. Too bad other screenwriters didn't pick up on that.
Hey, look! It's Mister Peanut!
I shot the shark, but I didn't shoot the manta ray.
The only real complaint about is how they sped up the film at the end. It looks really cheesy. It's almost surreal. Still, at the end of the day it is a great movie.
What's a Thunderball anyway?
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Goldfinger
And now we come to the quintesential Bond film. For better or worse. This is the film where all the elements came together. You couldn't make a more perfect Bond film if you tried, and believe me they tried. A lot.
The plot is so simple, yet so genious. Instead of stealing the gold from Fort Knox, Goldfinger wants to make it radioactive so that the value of his personal stash will increase tenfold, and he's going to use a dirty bomb to do it. A dirty, dirty bomb. We don't learn that last bit until late in the going when Bold has his "Let me get this straight," conversaton with the villian. In fact the idea is so clever I wonder why Hitchcock never thought of it.
The wetsuit to tuxedo thing really doesn't work. It's a bit of silly fluff thrown into the precredit teaser so I really should just let it go.
Is a bird on the head and one in the bath worth a Pussy in the hay? Discuss.
This is the first of four Bond films directed by Guy Hamilton, and the last to have titles designed by Robert Brownjohn.
Leiter number two; Cec Linder. A friend helps you move. A friend in the CIA helps you move a dead girl covered in gold paint.
Everytime Leiter comes on screen I get a craving for a two piece and a biscuit. Yes, you pedants, I know that Kentucky Fried Chicken had rolls instead of biscuits in 1964. They also served Coca-Cola, so you win some, you lose some. The winners being biscuits and Coca-Cola of course.
Digging that Double-oh Onesie. You know how many old guys in Florida would buy one of those if someone would just make them. You'd be a millionaire by the end of the week. If only Goldfinger had thought of that it would've been a far shorter movie.
As it turns out Bond is not a Beatles fan. Who knew?
Down at Q Branch they have gadgets galore! She would be an interesting Bond girl.
And now the moment we all have been waiting for--the Aston Martin DB5. It really is a beautful car. I saw one once. I doubt that it was one of the ones in the film. They made a few for auto shows and promotional stuff.
It's a great car but as far as the film is concerned it's a bit like the Batmobile. As a kid you think it's brilliant but as you get older you think it's a bit silly. Still would love to own it though. The DB5, not the Batmobile. That would be silly. If you have ever seen a guy driving down the street in a Batmobile you would understand.
You do know that if Goldfinger was being made today Auric Goldfinger would be played by Stellan Skarsgard. Just saying.
Car + cliff = boom!
Ah, Oddjob. The first in a very long line of evil henchmen. Or, as some refer to them, physical baddies. Some people even call them "Buseys." Some of them are better than others. Some are just stupid. Some are there because it wouldn't be a Bond film without one.
Always wear your seat belt before driving into a brick wall.
This is the first time that Bond is placed in an overly elaborate killing device.
In the first two films we saw Bond's allies Quarrel and Kerim Bey die. This time it's the Masterson sisters, Jill and Tilly.
Pussy Galore's Flying Circus isn't as funny as Monty Python's Flying Circus but there are far fewer sheep.
In the novel Pussy was a lesbian, but the film only hints at it. If you ever get a chance to read Bond's thoughts on lesbianism you should. It is just so male. Some guys still think that way. Maybe even some women.
Of course Pussy comes around in the end after a roll in the hay with Bond. This isn't the last time a Bond film dabbled in science fiction.
The Ford Ranchero: It's a car! It's a truck! It's the hermaphrodite of vehicles!
Seriously Mr. Bond, black socks with a grey suit? I expect you to know beter than that.
So, they pull down the garage door at Fort Knox just so Kisch could open the other door?
In a way, Goldfinger was the origional man with the golden gun.
For once Bond and the woman don't end up on a boat.
James Bond will return in Thunderball.
The plot is so simple, yet so genious. Instead of stealing the gold from Fort Knox, Goldfinger wants to make it radioactive so that the value of his personal stash will increase tenfold, and he's going to use a dirty bomb to do it. A dirty, dirty bomb. We don't learn that last bit until late in the going when Bold has his "Let me get this straight," conversaton with the villian. In fact the idea is so clever I wonder why Hitchcock never thought of it.
The wetsuit to tuxedo thing really doesn't work. It's a bit of silly fluff thrown into the precredit teaser so I really should just let it go.
Is a bird on the head and one in the bath worth a Pussy in the hay? Discuss.
This is the first of four Bond films directed by Guy Hamilton, and the last to have titles designed by Robert Brownjohn.
Leiter number two; Cec Linder. A friend helps you move. A friend in the CIA helps you move a dead girl covered in gold paint.
Everytime Leiter comes on screen I get a craving for a two piece and a biscuit. Yes, you pedants, I know that Kentucky Fried Chicken had rolls instead of biscuits in 1964. They also served Coca-Cola, so you win some, you lose some. The winners being biscuits and Coca-Cola of course.
Digging that Double-oh Onesie. You know how many old guys in Florida would buy one of those if someone would just make them. You'd be a millionaire by the end of the week. If only Goldfinger had thought of that it would've been a far shorter movie.
As it turns out Bond is not a Beatles fan. Who knew?
Down at Q Branch they have gadgets galore! She would be an interesting Bond girl.
And now the moment we all have been waiting for--the Aston Martin DB5. It really is a beautful car. I saw one once. I doubt that it was one of the ones in the film. They made a few for auto shows and promotional stuff.
It's a great car but as far as the film is concerned it's a bit like the Batmobile. As a kid you think it's brilliant but as you get older you think it's a bit silly. Still would love to own it though. The DB5, not the Batmobile. That would be silly. If you have ever seen a guy driving down the street in a Batmobile you would understand.
You do know that if Goldfinger was being made today Auric Goldfinger would be played by Stellan Skarsgard. Just saying.
Car + cliff = boom!
Ah, Oddjob. The first in a very long line of evil henchmen. Or, as some refer to them, physical baddies. Some people even call them "Buseys." Some of them are better than others. Some are just stupid. Some are there because it wouldn't be a Bond film without one.
Always wear your seat belt before driving into a brick wall.
This is the first time that Bond is placed in an overly elaborate killing device.
In the first two films we saw Bond's allies Quarrel and Kerim Bey die. This time it's the Masterson sisters, Jill and Tilly.
Pussy Galore's Flying Circus isn't as funny as Monty Python's Flying Circus but there are far fewer sheep.
In the novel Pussy was a lesbian, but the film only hints at it. If you ever get a chance to read Bond's thoughts on lesbianism you should. It is just so male. Some guys still think that way. Maybe even some women.
Of course Pussy comes around in the end after a roll in the hay with Bond. This isn't the last time a Bond film dabbled in science fiction.
The Ford Ranchero: It's a car! It's a truck! It's the hermaphrodite of vehicles!
Seriously Mr. Bond, black socks with a grey suit? I expect you to know beter than that.
So, they pull down the garage door at Fort Knox just so Kisch could open the other door?
In a way, Goldfinger was the origional man with the golden gun.
For once Bond and the woman don't end up on a boat.
James Bond will return in Thunderball.
Monday, June 18, 2012
From Russia With Love
This is one of my favorites because it's basically a old school Cold War film. More or less. Bond has to retrieve a Soviet Lektor decoding device. See, that's not hard to follow.
This is the first time we have a pre-credit sequence, and it's a very good one. I bet a lot of you thought that Bond was dead. You were wrong. If this had been a JJ Abrams film I would have thought that the film was starting with a flash forward. But it wasn't and it didn't. Besides, he wasn't even born until 1966 if IMDB is to be trusted. You never know.
The opening titles are starting to take shape. These were the work of Robert Brownjohn. Good work if you can get it.
Kitty! And a million parodies were launched. This is the first time we kind of see Blofeld, Ernst Stavros Blofeld. It won't be the last.
As Rosa Klebb once said. "Training is useful, but it is no substitute for experience." What ever could she be talking about? Some say she is a lesbian. Others that she just really loves her job. All I know is she has a blade in her right shoe.
Desmond Llewelyn begins his long run as Q by giving Bond a briefcase full of plot points.
Back in the day they really just threw the James Bond theme in every chance they got. Here he is walking around a hotel room looking for listening devices and you would think that he is in the middle of a high speed car chase. When he finds one he is moved to the honeymoon suite. In there they have cameras. Six of a dozen, point five of another. Or is it swings and roundabouts? I get those confused.
Gypsy girl-fight! That was certainly exciting while it lasted. That scene went from Russ Meyer to Sam Peckinpah a little to quickly for me. By the way, was that Alfred Molina in the pink shirt?
This is also the first of the Bond films to use the 007 theme. I really like it. It's a bouncy little number.
I hate rats.
Tania's alias was "Caroline." Well, she was pretty in pink. Certainly prettier than Gypsy Alfred Molina.
"You may know the right wines but you're the one on your knees." If I had a box of wine for every time someone said that to me I'd invite every MILF in the county over for a party.
Having said that. it is one of the best fight scenes in the history of cinema. That's the thing about the Bond films--they are always having to one-up themselves. Sometime to their detriment.
Yes, the helicopter scene was more than a bit North by Northwest.
"I'm on a boat!" "I'm in a boat chase!"
And yet again Bond ends up with the girl somewhere out on the ocean.
James Bond will return in Goldfinger.
This is the first time we have a pre-credit sequence, and it's a very good one. I bet a lot of you thought that Bond was dead. You were wrong. If this had been a JJ Abrams film I would have thought that the film was starting with a flash forward. But it wasn't and it didn't. Besides, he wasn't even born until 1966 if IMDB is to be trusted. You never know.
The opening titles are starting to take shape. These were the work of Robert Brownjohn. Good work if you can get it.
Kitty! And a million parodies were launched. This is the first time we kind of see Blofeld, Ernst Stavros Blofeld. It won't be the last.
As Rosa Klebb once said. "Training is useful, but it is no substitute for experience." What ever could she be talking about? Some say she is a lesbian. Others that she just really loves her job. All I know is she has a blade in her right shoe.
Desmond Llewelyn begins his long run as Q by giving Bond a briefcase full of plot points.
Back in the day they really just threw the James Bond theme in every chance they got. Here he is walking around a hotel room looking for listening devices and you would think that he is in the middle of a high speed car chase. When he finds one he is moved to the honeymoon suite. In there they have cameras. Six of a dozen, point five of another. Or is it swings and roundabouts? I get those confused.
Gypsy girl-fight! That was certainly exciting while it lasted. That scene went from Russ Meyer to Sam Peckinpah a little to quickly for me. By the way, was that Alfred Molina in the pink shirt?
This is also the first of the Bond films to use the 007 theme. I really like it. It's a bouncy little number.
I hate rats.
Tania's alias was "Caroline." Well, she was pretty in pink. Certainly prettier than Gypsy Alfred Molina.
"You may know the right wines but you're the one on your knees." If I had a box of wine for every time someone said that to me I'd invite every MILF in the county over for a party.
Having said that. it is one of the best fight scenes in the history of cinema. That's the thing about the Bond films--they are always having to one-up themselves. Sometime to their detriment.
Yes, the helicopter scene was more than a bit North by Northwest.
"I'm on a boat!" "I'm in a boat chase!"
And yet again Bond ends up with the girl somewhere out on the ocean.
James Bond will return in Goldfinger.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Dr. No
This is not meant to be a definitive history. It's just a way for me to kill time until the release of Skyfall. Unless otherwise noted the information comes from the films, commentaries, special features and the booklet enclosed with the DVD. I do not have the films on blu-ray. No one is more sorry than I am.
The plot is . . . Um . . . Basically Dr. No wants to knock a NASA rocket out of the sky and Bond has to stop him. In a way the film is about the fact that Dr. No works for SPECTRE and this is just a set up for the films to follow. If you think about it that is what a lot of films are like today. Not about SPECTRE, but about sucking you in with a plot point so that you watch the rest of the series. Clever.
The film opens with the greatest theme in film history. Then there are Maurice Binder's titles. In Dr. No they seem rather simple compared to the more elaborate ones in recent films but they didn't have the benefits of computer animation in the early Sixties. Don't you people watch Mad Men?
Anorak moment: That isn't Sean Connery in the hat with the gun. He was unavailable on the day so they used stuntman Bob Simmons. So I guess you could say that Bob Simmons is the first person to portray Bond On the big screen. I don't know if I'd try to win any bets down the pub with that nugget.
The three blind assassins were pretty cool. I didn't see that one coming. Neither did Strangways for that matter.
Bond is introduced in a casino playing Baccarat. Baccarat is a game invented by Burt Baccarat to kill time in between writing songs. I actually once learned the rules but I have since forgotten them. It's kind of a high-falutin' Blackjack.
I miss Miss Moneypenny from the last two Bond films. Some reports say that she will be back in Skyfall. The question is who should play the part? I think Catherine Tate, while some smart alec said Benedict Cumberbatch in drag.
This is one of the few of the films not to have a scene with Q. Instead we have M calling for Major Boothroyd the Armourer. This is where we learn that Bond spent six months in hospital after his Beretta jammed. I hate when that happens. I'm glad that they got it sorted in time for the Lethal Weapon films.
Jack Lord wearing Lindsay Lohan's sunglasses plays CIA agent Felix Leiter. A lot of actors have played Leiter over the years. Eight in total. Only six have played Bond. I wonder why this never became a running joke like so many other things did.
I have recurring nightmares about spiders in bed. Not really, but I probably just jinxed myself.
Any car that goes over a cliff must explode. It is law.
Finally at minute sixty-three Ursula Andress shows up. That's the moment we all have been waiting for. This is the 1962 equivalent of Phoebe Cates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
One of the few quibbles is with the "dragon." That was rather lame. Then again they only had a one million dollar budget. I think they sold it to the producers of National Lampoon's Animal House. Then again I could be wrong.
After Quarrel is killed, and Bond and Honey are taken hostage, we are introduced to Sister Lily and Sister Rose. Thankfully there was no Sister Hyacinth.
If you want to hide in plain sight just grab a folder and act like you know what you are doing. It's worked for me for decades. Also, it does help if you are wearing a hazmat suit. Action figure sold separately.
You think that "Danger Level" sign is big enough? Dr. No may be evil but I'm glad to see that he follows UK health and safety regulations and guidelines regarding signage. A safe workplace is a happy workplace.
Speaking of the title character, I thought that Joseph Wiseman was correct to underplay him. Otherwise Dr. No would come off like a cartoon character. We don't need that in a Bond film.
Bond makes his daring escape and rescues Honey along the way. By the way, wasn't she wearing pants the last time we saw her. I'm not complaining.
Then it ends with the two of them in a boat not wanting to be rescued. Not yet anyway.
As you can tell most of the elements for future Bond films are there. There have been a few additions and tweeks along the way.
Terence Moore was the director and he created the template for the series. He basically taught Sean Connery how to be Bond. It's hard to believe that anyone else other than Connery would have been considered for the role. Cary Grant, James Mason, Patrick McGoohan and some guy called Roger Moore were amongst the candidates.
Peter Hunt created a very fast paced editing style that a lot of action films still use today. The sets were created by Production Designer Ken Adam. He turned the films into a world unlike anything seen in film. They were futuristic and timeless all at once.
James Bond will return in From Russia with Love.
The plot is . . . Um . . . Basically Dr. No wants to knock a NASA rocket out of the sky and Bond has to stop him. In a way the film is about the fact that Dr. No works for SPECTRE and this is just a set up for the films to follow. If you think about it that is what a lot of films are like today. Not about SPECTRE, but about sucking you in with a plot point so that you watch the rest of the series. Clever.
The film opens with the greatest theme in film history. Then there are Maurice Binder's titles. In Dr. No they seem rather simple compared to the more elaborate ones in recent films but they didn't have the benefits of computer animation in the early Sixties. Don't you people watch Mad Men?
Anorak moment: That isn't Sean Connery in the hat with the gun. He was unavailable on the day so they used stuntman Bob Simmons. So I guess you could say that Bob Simmons is the first person to portray Bond On the big screen. I don't know if I'd try to win any bets down the pub with that nugget.
The three blind assassins were pretty cool. I didn't see that one coming. Neither did Strangways for that matter.
Bond is introduced in a casino playing Baccarat. Baccarat is a game invented by Burt Baccarat to kill time in between writing songs. I actually once learned the rules but I have since forgotten them. It's kind of a high-falutin' Blackjack.
I miss Miss Moneypenny from the last two Bond films. Some reports say that she will be back in Skyfall. The question is who should play the part? I think Catherine Tate, while some smart alec said Benedict Cumberbatch in drag.
This is one of the few of the films not to have a scene with Q. Instead we have M calling for Major Boothroyd the Armourer. This is where we learn that Bond spent six months in hospital after his Beretta jammed. I hate when that happens. I'm glad that they got it sorted in time for the Lethal Weapon films.
Jack Lord wearing Lindsay Lohan's sunglasses plays CIA agent Felix Leiter. A lot of actors have played Leiter over the years. Eight in total. Only six have played Bond. I wonder why this never became a running joke like so many other things did.
I have recurring nightmares about spiders in bed. Not really, but I probably just jinxed myself.
Any car that goes over a cliff must explode. It is law.
Finally at minute sixty-three Ursula Andress shows up. That's the moment we all have been waiting for. This is the 1962 equivalent of Phoebe Cates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
One of the few quibbles is with the "dragon." That was rather lame. Then again they only had a one million dollar budget. I think they sold it to the producers of National Lampoon's Animal House. Then again I could be wrong.
After Quarrel is killed, and Bond and Honey are taken hostage, we are introduced to Sister Lily and Sister Rose. Thankfully there was no Sister Hyacinth.
If you want to hide in plain sight just grab a folder and act like you know what you are doing. It's worked for me for decades. Also, it does help if you are wearing a hazmat suit. Action figure sold separately.
You think that "Danger Level" sign is big enough? Dr. No may be evil but I'm glad to see that he follows UK health and safety regulations and guidelines regarding signage. A safe workplace is a happy workplace.
Speaking of the title character, I thought that Joseph Wiseman was correct to underplay him. Otherwise Dr. No would come off like a cartoon character. We don't need that in a Bond film.
Bond makes his daring escape and rescues Honey along the way. By the way, wasn't she wearing pants the last time we saw her. I'm not complaining.
Then it ends with the two of them in a boat not wanting to be rescued. Not yet anyway.
As you can tell most of the elements for future Bond films are there. There have been a few additions and tweeks along the way.
Terence Moore was the director and he created the template for the series. He basically taught Sean Connery how to be Bond. It's hard to believe that anyone else other than Connery would have been considered for the role. Cary Grant, James Mason, Patrick McGoohan and some guy called Roger Moore were amongst the candidates.
Peter Hunt created a very fast paced editing style that a lot of action films still use today. The sets were created by Production Designer Ken Adam. He turned the films into a world unlike anything seen in film. They were futuristic and timeless all at once.
James Bond will return in From Russia with Love.
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