Diamonds Are Forever

Welcome to the 1970s Mister Bond.

It seems to me at least that the 60s Bond films are timeless classics, while the 70s films often feel dated. Then again the 70s was quite an odd decade. To say the least.

I guess a lot of it has to do with fashion or lack of it. Then there are the cars. For the most part they were bloated versions of the cars we loved in the 60s.

Then again I grew up in the 70s so I actually remember what was going on. Mostly. A lot of stuff I cannot forget no matter how hard I try. So, in a way the 70s don't seem foreign to me.

Fezzes are cool.

At least when they change the actor who plays Blofeld they try to explain it. Okay, plastic surgery isn't the best explanation in the world but it is an explanation none the less. Give them credit for trying. Or don't. Do what you want to do. Don't listen to me.

Ah, the old mousetrap in the holster gag. You gotta love a classic. I think it was invented by Doc Holliday. I could be wrong.

You just knew that the film was going to start with Bond getting his get back.

In a way they were trying to recreate the magic of Goldfinger--Guy Hamilton is the director and Shirley Bassey is performing the theme song. It's very hard for lightning to strike twice. Hell, if it happens once you should consider yourself lucky.

Diamond smuggling montage!

Oh look, it's the Mythbusters!

Miss Moneypenny hitting on a widower. Has she no shame?

Why is 007 kissing a woman with man hands? Oh wait. Never mind.

Connery's German accent is no better than his Russian.

It seems that Felix Leiter must have pissed off someone pretty important to get stuck in Customs. Once more and he'll end up at the TSA.

How many times are Wint and Kidd going to steal those same diamonds?

Operation: Passover? I wonder what Operation: Simchat Torah is going to be. Does it involve lox? Wednesday? I can't Wednesday. It's Operation: Simchat Torah.

An elephant playing slots? I'm not going to touch that one.

Brown four-door LTD; worst Bond car ever?

As for Tiffany Case's 1971 Mach 1, Mustangs stopped being cool in 1969. Some say that Bond films stopped being cool then as well. Not me of course.

Stuff I learned from Bond films: You can't be too careful with radiation.

So that's where they filmed the moon landing!

The Moon Buggy may be a bit goofy but it's still better than a brown four-door LTD.

Here come the ATVs. All of a sudden this film has turned into a Big Country video.

Use of unnecessary force in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers HAS been approved.

The night of too many Blofelds.

"The right idea but the wrong pussy." Happens every time I go to Vegas.

They'll have fun, fun, fun, until daddy takes their brown 1971 T-Bird away.

Oh, that's how you lay pipe in Vegas.

You think your tie is short enough, Mister Bond? It's Rio Ferdinand short. It's Clyde Langer short.

Why does 007 sound like Tommy Lee Jones?

Willard Whyte: the sausage king of Las Vegas.

I didn't know that Dame Edith Everage had a cat.

Safety Tip #71: Sweep your helipad daily. You never know who's going to show up.

Bubble Boy!

"If in doubt, ask." If you have to ask.