Licence To Kill

Drugs? Really? I guess every movie or TV show was about or on drugs in the Eighties.

Welcome back David Hedison as Felix Leiter. The bad news is that you're getting married.

Sanchez is a bad man. He'll whip you. Whip you for real.

Now 007, what has M told you about using a Beretta?

You may absolutely, definitely, kiss the bride.

Now you know why I'm afraid of trap doors.

The last place I'd look for drugs is in a drawer full of maggots. Ick.

The electric eel is far more efficient than the gasoline eel.

Look quick! It's a kid in a VH1 t-shirt!

Kitties!

Bond's gone rogue!

Sorry 007, I didn't recognize you without a duck on your head.

There's going to be a lot of coked up sharks off the coast of Florida, and there's nothing worse than a coked up shark.

They really just throw money all over the place don't they.

Mister Bond that's one Cigarette that I approve of.

Bond orders a Bud with a lime. Remember this. Put it somewhere in your mind-brain. File it away.

Is that the same shirt that Benicio Del Toro wore in The Usual Suspects?

What is about Bond and boats? The bad guys always shoot the fuel tank of fuel ine or Bond can't find the fuel shutoff switch. It's a wonder they ever let in the Royal Navy.

Bond also plays blackjack. I don't like anything where 21 wins. You really need to know that about me.

You have to love a tear away dress.

So that's what he cummerbund is for. I always thought it was a crumb catcher. Silly me.

Pigeons!

You won't get that toothpaste back in the tube.

There is always one loudmouth in every meeting. You ever notice that. I'm not only talking about real life but Bond films as well.

Ninjas show up when you least expect it.

Q always complains about how 007 treats his equipment and the he throws the broom radio in the bushes.

If this secret agent thing doesn't work out Bond could always get a job with Motor Convoy.

A wheelie?! Seriously!?

It it just me or does Leiter seem a tad cheerful considering all that has happened?

Oh yeah, they put a warning about cigarettes in the closing credits but nothing about drugs or guns or sharks.

I really liked Timothy Dalton as Bond. I wish that he could have made a few more. The two he was is were very good but by no means perfect. They both were a bit overlong.

I think The Living Daylights  better managed mixing a serious storyline with elements of humor. This one had a very serious storyline. It wasn't too well received at the time but it has a lot of fans. I just think that it was far too ahead of it's time. Think about it. If you keep the revenge storyline and change the drugs to something else I could see Daniel Craig doing a great job with it. Maybe that's just me.

James Bond will return. Eventually.

The Living Daylights

There was this guy on the radio the other day that said that he didn't like Timothy Dalton's portrayal of James Bond. He thought that he he took it far to seriously. That he was trying to make him too much like a Shakespearean character.

I disagree. I thought that he was a very good 007. I only wish that he had the chance to make more. The problem is that everyone said he was going to be the next Sean Connery. There can be only one.

Couldn't the Double-Ohs and the SAS just have had a football match?

A-ha. I really miss the Eighties. Too much.

Cello: sexy or inelegant? Discuss.

Bond is an assassin. That's part of the job description. I said ass twice, that's part of my job.

Rosika Miklos; sexiest Bond woman ever? Could be. I'm just saying.

I like the new Moneypenny but she is no Lois Maxwell.

Bond is smoking again.

Milk bomb!

"Why didn't you learn the violin?" Or the flute for that matter? Triangle?

Smooth jazz. Straight blowing.

Can I get a GPS with Mayam d'Abo's voice? That would be cool.

I'm glad that the Aston Martin is back but the laser scythe gag doesn't age well.

As for the cello case as sled I kind of liked it. It was a bit of fun without going too overboard. That's something that was missing from Licence to Kill but I'll get to that another time.

Pigeons!

Jonathan Rhys Davis is no Jonathan Rhys Meyers if you know what I mean. If you do please tell me. I have no clue.

Oh, Vienna.

Eighties fashion leaves a lot to be desired.

Banana hammock alert!

Oh my gourd! As I'm writing this Absolute Radio is playing "The Living Daylights." Leona Graham I love you!

Roller coaster!

Tilt-a-Hurl!

"Take me on the wheel." If you insist. Sorry.

It is balloon! You've been waiting on that one since Octopussy.

I see that Dalton like Roger Moore before him wears double vented jackets. I thought those were for large bottomed gentlemen. Fashion tip there.

I remember Eighties panties. I didn't have any firsthand experience with them, but I do remember them.

Does everyone around here do the laundry on the same day?

Never trust women in convertibles; that's my motto.

Felix Leiter, as I live and breathe! It's been far too long. This time he's being played by John Terry and thankfully not the Chelsea footballer/alleged borderline racist. No, it's the one who went on to play Christian Shephard on Lost.

Cellists fiddle between their legs. Sorry.

To Chlorohydrate!

When you see more than one of the same person always shoot the one in the middle. That's a tip for all you would be spies out there.

Then there was a bit where nothing happened. That was a problem in the Dalton era. The films were a tad over long.

It's a good thing that they let that other dude escape with them.

At least the physical baddie wasn't a super strong guy, just a big dude. Kind of like Red Grant in From Russia with Love.

You think that me held on to 007's Doc Marten all the way too the ground?

The bomb is always in the last bag you look in.

A bridge too far?

Bingo fuel!

It was nice to see John Barry appearing in the last Bond film he composed.

I really liked this film. I'm sorry if that offends anyone. I'm also one of those who likes On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

James Bond will return despite all your protests.

A View To A Kill

Did 007 just invent snowboarding?

Do we really need the Beach Boys?

A boat shaped like an iceberg. Okay.

Ah, Duran Duran. One of my favorites. I remember watching the video on Friday Night Videos. Those were the good old days.

It's not only a great Bond theme it's a great song as well. It's right up there with "Live and Let Die" and "Nobody Does It Better."

Did Q just invent K-9?

It's nice that Moneypenny got a day ou in Lois Maxwell's last appearance.

Detective Eggplant? Only in France.

Bollinger '75; that was a good year. Not for me though.

Killer butterflies; what will they think of next?

Going down, Mr. Bond?

I knew that front wheel drive was good for something.

It wasn't as exciting as the chase in Ronin but what is?

Bond sure has a lot of baggage.

Did Q just invent psychic paper?

It appears the 007 has found Walter Bishop's lab.

Microchips are good with microsalsa.

Who is weirder: Christopher Walken or Grace Jones? Answers on apostcard to the usual address.

Can't Bond put anything back where it belongs?

It's a steeplechase!

Project: Main Strike certainly is no Operation: Grand Slam.

We're in a blimp!

If you're looking for someone on steroids then San Francisco is the right place. Just saying.

Welcome... to the Rock. Not really. I just had to get that one in.

James Bond hot tub party!

Kitty!

Isn't Stacy a bit too attractive for a geologist?

Bond not only eats quiche but he bakes it as well. That pretty much sums up the Roger Moore era.

But, he can also repair phone wiring. So he's got that going for him.

Rhetorical question: Do you think that Stacy's robe is short enough? Me neither.

Fire truck chase!

Your other left!

Fiero!

"Do you know what I'm sitting on?" Short Round?

It's a bomb in a box.

Zorin didn't spring for an electric winch. Seriously?!

If you're going to San Francisco be sure to keep an axe in you blimp.

And thus ends the Roger Moore era. It ended a lot better than it started. It's not that I don't like him, it's just that the scripts could have been a bit better. They tended to run more towards comedy. There is nothing wrong with that in moderation.

I think that in a way Roger Moore was the only person to follow Sean Connery. They are two different people with completely different takes on the role. It was the Seventies and the World was changing and the World needed a new James Bond to reflect that.
James Bond will return.

Octopussy

I am going to try to get through this without making any Octomom jokes, and a minimal amount of Squiddly Diddly jokes.

You can tell right from the beginning that there was a fake horse in the trailer. I've seen a lot of real horse's asses in my life. Literally.

I'm a Toro, you're a Toro, he's a Toro, she's a Toro. wouldn't you like to be a Toro too?

Uh oh. Bingo fuel.

"All Time High" has to be the most early Eighties song ever. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I guess it's the descending chords.

I doubt that Penelope Smallbone is related to Plenty O'Toole.

Fake egg. By Faberge. You cheap...

If I ever had a meeting in a room that revolved I would toss my bear claw.

500,000 pounds; cheap as chips!

200,000 rupees; that's what, a buck eighty?

The whole crushing thing was more impressive when Oddjob did it with a golf ball.

Stroke!

And then there's Maud. Again.

If Khan has the egg why does he need the chicken?

Bond escapes his cell with the help of his salsa pen.

Pigeons!

Hair dryers interfere with the listening device but Q is working on it.

Don't mind us, we're just hanging around.

I'll be hunting the greatest game of all: Man.

Look out! It's Carol Burnett! Seriously, did we really need the Tarzan yell? Is that the nadir of the Bond series?

Sucker.

I guess a duck on the head would have been out of place. When in India . . .

What exactly is the point of being a secret agent if everyone knows your name? I bet when he walks into Cheers everyone yells, "BOND!"

Next on BBC 2 it's Fishing with Q. 

The truth hurts, 007.

It slices, it dices, it makes a wonderful potato salad.

Hey, it's Throwdini!

Tada! The East German judge gives him a 9.2.

Then we come to the most anticlimactic car chase ever.

I hate flying economy.

It's a cliffhanger.

James Bond will return in From a View to a Kill.