I really like this one. It has it's flaws but so do a lot of films. I'm not really a fan of the precredit sequence. It starts out well enough. It's nice to see the filmmakers keep up with the continuity of the series by having Bond laying flowers on Tracy's grave. However it soon goes all sorts of wrong. "I'll buy you a delicatessen. In stainless steel." Seriously!?!
I understand that it was a way to get the silliness over with and get on with a more serious story. In a way this was Roger Moore's On Her Majesty's Secret Service. That film had elements of humor but for the most part it was realistic. Well, as realistic as it gets in a Bond film.
Two words: Sheena Easton.
One problem is that Bill Conti's score kind of dates the film much in the same way that bad fashion dates the 70s films.
The same thing always happens to me when I play Minesweeper. Not really. I got pretty good at it but that was a very long time ago.
Carol Bouquet, in my opinion, is one of the most beautiful women to appear in a Bond movie. Not only her hair but those eyes. Wow. However, she isn't the world's best actress. I have to be fair here. Andy Warhol liked her. Is that a good or bad thing?
Remember when louvers on a car were cool? Neither do I.
The Citroen 2CV has to be one of the goofiest cars ever and that is saying quite a lot because all Citroens are goofy.
Rockford!
Yes Q, we are looking for Warren Zevon.
I want to drive the Zamboni!
Sleigh Ride!
Don't you love it when you come back to your hotel room and there is a crazy woman in the shower?
The Biathlon is not quite what I thought it was. Did they just pull two random sports out of a hat?
The music in the ski chase sounds like the soundtrack to The Saturday Sports Show.
That wino really gets around.
I went to Bond movie and a hockey game broke out.
Melina really knows her melons.
I can't decide if I like it or not when they incorporate the theme song into the score. Discuss.
Seriously!? Bond can't tell the difference between Liverpool and Manchester accents?
Speed Buggy, no!!!
Wait just a cotton picking minute. Let me get this straight: The good guys are the bad guys and the other way around?
Locque has bad karma.
At the time there was a bit of a controversy about Bond killing Locque in cold blood. Sean Connery could probably get away with it. Roger Moore was a totally different Bond, for better or worse.
I really didn't mind the scene. It was in keeping with the tone of the film. Had it been Moonraker or The Spy Who Loved Me then it would have been out of place.
The ocean is a big place but sometimes it can feel very claustrophobic.
Just how many guys in this movie look like Demetri Martin?
Who ever heard of a temperamental Olympic athlete?
Rock climbing, Joel.
It's always pigeons.
If Maggie Thatcher has All Bran for breakfast then why does she always seem so constipated?
Yet another controversy with this film had to do with the poster. Personally I liked it. It was the first Bond poster that didn't try to cram all of the elements of the movie onto it. It was very simple, effective, and evocative. And memorable.
There was also a bit of confusion as to who exactly the model was that posed for the picture. Three women claimed to be the one. As it turns out it was Joyce Bartle. I had never heard of her either until I read it in People. Go figure.
THIS MACHINE THANKS YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION. G O O D B Y E.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Moonraker
Just give him a monkey and shoot him into space. Oh wait, this is not the early Seventies and this is not a cartoon.
I actually like this film. Starting with The Spy Who Loved Me they got on quite a roll.
On a sad note this is Bernard Lee's final appearance as M. I think that him and Judi Dench actually "got" the part. It's usually a small part but it is a very important one. M's relationship with Bond is very complicated and simple at the same time.
And now, on with the film.
Houston, we have a problem.
Never trust a guy in a rugby helmet.
Please welcome, Shirley Bassey! The only thing missing from The Spy Who Loved Me was a Shirley Bassey song.
Why would the US loan a shuttle to the British?
Remember the days when villains had weird beards?
Zeus, Apollo, sit!
I'm a big Michael Lonsdale fan going back to The Day of the Jackal. He was also brilliant in his cameo in Ronin. He would have made a great Master back in the day. He was a very laid back villain. Those can often be the most scary ones.
You spin me right round baby, right round like a record baby.
Jane! Stop this crazy thing!
I would so totally hurl.
Press the button all you want, the elevator won't come any faster.
So basically, if you want to stop something just shoot the instrument panel.
Hello, I'm Bond. James Bond.
007 cameras--you must get them in the stores for Christmas.
Quite a few pheasants were harmed in the making of this film.
That was pretty badass when Bond shot that guy in the tree.
Venini Glass; at least it wasn't Vinvocci.
If the gondola has an engine then why do you need the dude with the pole?
It was Commander Bond in the laboratory with the poison.
No one warned me about a ninja in a glass shop.
So, now all of a sudden he's Garth Brooks. Then explain to me why he is dressed like Johnny Cash.
Are you my mummy?
Remember the Concorde? It's how our grandparents used to get around in the late Twentieth Century. Good old supersonic flight.
Kitty!
Land Shark!
Looks like someone stitched a clown suit on Jaws.
7-Up; The Uncola.
Jaws found a friend. Awww.
The man with no name whose name is Bond, James Bond.
Boat chase!
Let's see David Copperfield go over a waterfall in a speedboat. Seriously. And take David Blaine with him.
An hour and a half into the film and Bond finally goes into space.
Take your protein pill and put your rugby helmet on.
Let me get this straight; a Frenchman is trying to create a perfect race. No offense but, what!?!
I must say that the special effects are very good. They still hold up today.
So, it's an ark in space. Wasn't that an episode of Doctor Who?
Dr. Goodhead really knows how to go down a pole.
Q: Where does the General get all his women? A: The Gogol Bordello.
Jaws isn't stupid after all. That was nice to see.
It's a party at zero G.
Use the force, James.
James Bond will return in For Your Eyes Only.
I promise.
Oh, now I get it. Bollinger '69.
I actually like this film. Starting with The Spy Who Loved Me they got on quite a roll.
On a sad note this is Bernard Lee's final appearance as M. I think that him and Judi Dench actually "got" the part. It's usually a small part but it is a very important one. M's relationship with Bond is very complicated and simple at the same time.
And now, on with the film.
Houston, we have a problem.
Never trust a guy in a rugby helmet.
Please welcome, Shirley Bassey! The only thing missing from The Spy Who Loved Me was a Shirley Bassey song.
Why would the US loan a shuttle to the British?
Remember the days when villains had weird beards?
Zeus, Apollo, sit!
I'm a big Michael Lonsdale fan going back to The Day of the Jackal. He was also brilliant in his cameo in Ronin. He would have made a great Master back in the day. He was a very laid back villain. Those can often be the most scary ones.
You spin me right round baby, right round like a record baby.
Jane! Stop this crazy thing!
I would so totally hurl.
Press the button all you want, the elevator won't come any faster.
So basically, if you want to stop something just shoot the instrument panel.
Hello, I'm Bond. James Bond.
007 cameras--you must get them in the stores for Christmas.
Quite a few pheasants were harmed in the making of this film.
That was pretty badass when Bond shot that guy in the tree.
Venini Glass; at least it wasn't Vinvocci.
If the gondola has an engine then why do you need the dude with the pole?
It was Commander Bond in the laboratory with the poison.
No one warned me about a ninja in a glass shop.
So, now all of a sudden he's Garth Brooks. Then explain to me why he is dressed like Johnny Cash.
Are you my mummy?
Remember the Concorde? It's how our grandparents used to get around in the late Twentieth Century. Good old supersonic flight.
Kitty!
Land Shark!
Looks like someone stitched a clown suit on Jaws.
7-Up; The Uncola.
Jaws found a friend. Awww.
The man with no name whose name is Bond, James Bond.
Boat chase!
Let's see David Copperfield go over a waterfall in a speedboat. Seriously. And take David Blaine with him.
An hour and a half into the film and Bond finally goes into space.
Take your protein pill and put your rugby helmet on.
Let me get this straight; a Frenchman is trying to create a perfect race. No offense but, what!?!
I must say that the special effects are very good. They still hold up today.
So, it's an ark in space. Wasn't that an episode of Doctor Who?
Dr. Goodhead really knows how to go down a pole.
Q: Where does the General get all his women? A: The Gogol Bordello.
Jaws isn't stupid after all. That was nice to see.
It's a party at zero G.
Use the force, James.
James Bond will return in For Your Eyes Only.
I promise.
Oh, now I get it. Bollinger '69.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
The Spy Who Loved Me
Or as Roger Moore likes to call it; "Fishfinger" for it's resemblance to Goldfinger. That is only partially correct. In a way it's a mashup of stuff that worked in the Sixties. By the way, do fish have fingers?
TSWLM works because the writers finally found the right tone. Moore is no Sean Connery but there is nothing wrong with that. I'm a honorary Sean Connery.
One of our subs is missing. By "ours" I mean the British Royal Navy. That's okay because one of theirs is missing as well. By "theirs" I mean the Commies.
"I'll put our best man on it." If you can't find him send 007. At least that's the subtext I heard.
A Seiko digital watch with a built in Avery label maker? Sounds like the ideal Christmas gift for your favorite anal retentive geek.
Best precredit sequence ever?
Music by the recently departed Marvin Hamlisch. Let's say that it's very 1970s and leave it at that. Seriously, he did a good job. I like the way that he incorporated the twangy guitar sound into the film at key points.
A Union flag parachute always makes me smile.
May I take a moment to say that I love Carly Simon?
If 007 is Commander Bond then Q must be Major Exposition.
That's a long dinner table. I bet that it's even longer than the SPECTRE conference table.
This is the first of the films with Roger Moore that actually looks like a Bond film. This is due to Production Designer Ken Adam who made the iconic sets during the Sean Connery era. I wish that he had made the sets for The Man with the Golden Gun.
I think you're going to need a bigger lair.
See what happens when you start congratulating yourselves before the check clears?
It's always a buzz kill when a woman brings up the late wife.
Mosh!
Is this Richard Kiel's audition reel for the part of Marvin the telephone repairman on Alice?
It could have been worse. They could have tried to make their escape in a Reliant Robin.
At least it wasn't one of Q's explosive cigarettes.
I always thought "M" was a randomly selected initial, I had no idea it stood for "Miles."
Another train, another fight on a train. Ah, the Lotus Esprit. It's no Aston Martin but then again Aston Martin wasn't exactly Aston Martin in the 70s.
Sidecar=evil.
Serpentine!
Roads?! Where we're going we don't need roads!
It's all gone a bit Thunderball.
It's the explosive hockey puck from Mighty Ducks 4: If You Can't Beat 'Em, Puck 'Em.
And the penny drops.
Okay, now one of our subs is missing.
Yes, that is Shane Rimmer playing the part of Commander Carter. You may remember him from Doctor Who "The Gunfighters."
Know how I know that it's an evil lair? It has linear induction vehicles. Linear induction vehicles are the new monorail.
It's all gone a bit You Only Live Twice.
Come one guys! They're not that hard to miss, they're wearing orange jumpsuits.
It's the world's most dangerous game of Operation.
Boy, I thought that I typed slowly. At least I use more than two fingers.
"I have to get her off." Better use more than two fingers.
Sometimes you bite the shark and sometimes the shark bites you.
James Bond will return in For Your Eyes Only.
Eventually.
TSWLM works because the writers finally found the right tone. Moore is no Sean Connery but there is nothing wrong with that. I'm a honorary Sean Connery.
One of our subs is missing. By "ours" I mean the British Royal Navy. That's okay because one of theirs is missing as well. By "theirs" I mean the Commies.
"I'll put our best man on it." If you can't find him send 007. At least that's the subtext I heard.
A Seiko digital watch with a built in Avery label maker? Sounds like the ideal Christmas gift for your favorite anal retentive geek.
Best precredit sequence ever?
Music by the recently departed Marvin Hamlisch. Let's say that it's very 1970s and leave it at that. Seriously, he did a good job. I like the way that he incorporated the twangy guitar sound into the film at key points.
A Union flag parachute always makes me smile.
May I take a moment to say that I love Carly Simon?
If 007 is Commander Bond then Q must be Major Exposition.
That's a long dinner table. I bet that it's even longer than the SPECTRE conference table.
This is the first of the films with Roger Moore that actually looks like a Bond film. This is due to Production Designer Ken Adam who made the iconic sets during the Sean Connery era. I wish that he had made the sets for The Man with the Golden Gun.
I think you're going to need a bigger lair.
See what happens when you start congratulating yourselves before the check clears?
It's always a buzz kill when a woman brings up the late wife.
Mosh!
Is this Richard Kiel's audition reel for the part of Marvin the telephone repairman on Alice?
It could have been worse. They could have tried to make their escape in a Reliant Robin.
At least it wasn't one of Q's explosive cigarettes.
I always thought "M" was a randomly selected initial, I had no idea it stood for "Miles."
Another train, another fight on a train. Ah, the Lotus Esprit. It's no Aston Martin but then again Aston Martin wasn't exactly Aston Martin in the 70s.
Sidecar=evil.
Serpentine!
Roads?! Where we're going we don't need roads!
It's all gone a bit Thunderball.
It's the explosive hockey puck from Mighty Ducks 4: If You Can't Beat 'Em, Puck 'Em.
And the penny drops.
Okay, now one of our subs is missing.
Yes, that is Shane Rimmer playing the part of Commander Carter. You may remember him from Doctor Who "The Gunfighters."
Know how I know that it's an evil lair? It has linear induction vehicles. Linear induction vehicles are the new monorail.
It's all gone a bit You Only Live Twice.
Come one guys! They're not that hard to miss, they're wearing orange jumpsuits.
It's the world's most dangerous game of Operation.
Boy, I thought that I typed slowly. At least I use more than two fingers.
"I have to get her off." Better use more than two fingers.
Sometimes you bite the shark and sometimes the shark bites you.
James Bond will return in For Your Eyes Only.
Eventually.
Monday, August 6, 2012
The Man with the Golden Gun
Black Velvet if you please. I actually saw Alannah Myles once. Not on purpose. It wasn't my fault. She was opening for Robert Plant. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. That was also the last time I went to the Gold Club. I think.
And then there's Maud!
Wait just a cotton picking minute. Does Scaramanga have stirrups on his track pants? Stirrup pants give me nightmares. They give me flashbacks to the Nineties.
Holy crap, I was wrong. It's actually a onesie.
Is that Randy Newman on piano?
Lulu? Well, at least it wasn't Lulu Roman.
Brut. By Faberge. You cheap mother...
Hi, Q!
And then there's Maud in the shower.
Ever get the feeling that you've been stood up?
Yeah, yeah. I'm Hip, I'm Hip.
Welcome aboard MC Esher's boat Commander Bond.
Hi, Hai!
Those dudes in blue look like an Asian Grand Funk Railroad cover band.
I assure you that Cary Grant never said, "Judo, Judo, Judo."
I hate pushy salesmen.
If Bond had taken a shop class or two he would know about the fuel shutoff switch.
"The bottom one has a homer in it." Chicks dig the long ball.
"I'm dreaming of a Solex Agitator" was a lesser hit for Bing Crosby. By the way, who had more hits, Bing or Gary?
Kickboxing is the sport of the future.
In a way Andrea's death was one of the most sad. I think that it's the look on her face. It gets me every time. Sorry for the downer.
AMCs? Seriously? Kind of makes me wish that I hadn't complained about all the Fords. Kind of.
Look up in the sky! It's a car! It's a plane! It's a car/plane!
Oh, now Bond prefers the '62. I guess in the Sixties it's the even numbered years that are good.
With that jacket Bond looks like he should be selling AMCs.
Why is Scaramanga dressed like a Cuban uncle?
Now I know why Al Gore is such a proponent of solar power.
What you going to do now that you dropped your gun?
Bond should know by now that the henchman always shows up at the end.
And then there's Maud!
Wait just a cotton picking minute. Does Scaramanga have stirrups on his track pants? Stirrup pants give me nightmares. They give me flashbacks to the Nineties.
Holy crap, I was wrong. It's actually a onesie.
Is that Randy Newman on piano?
Lulu? Well, at least it wasn't Lulu Roman.
Brut. By Faberge. You cheap mother...
Hi, Q!
And then there's Maud in the shower.
Ever get the feeling that you've been stood up?
Yeah, yeah. I'm Hip, I'm Hip.
Welcome aboard MC Esher's boat Commander Bond.
Hi, Hai!
Those dudes in blue look like an Asian Grand Funk Railroad cover band.
I assure you that Cary Grant never said, "Judo, Judo, Judo."
I hate pushy salesmen.
If Bond had taken a shop class or two he would know about the fuel shutoff switch.
"The bottom one has a homer in it." Chicks dig the long ball.
"I'm dreaming of a Solex Agitator" was a lesser hit for Bing Crosby. By the way, who had more hits, Bing or Gary?
Kickboxing is the sport of the future.
In a way Andrea's death was one of the most sad. I think that it's the look on her face. It gets me every time. Sorry for the downer.
AMCs? Seriously? Kind of makes me wish that I hadn't complained about all the Fords. Kind of.
Look up in the sky! It's a car! It's a plane! It's a car/plane!
Oh, now Bond prefers the '62. I guess in the Sixties it's the even numbered years that are good.
With that jacket Bond looks like he should be selling AMCs.
Why is Scaramanga dressed like a Cuban uncle?
Now I know why Al Gore is such a proponent of solar power.
What you going to do now that you dropped your gun?
Bond should know by now that the henchman always shows up at the end.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Live And Let Die
Nothing livens up a meeting more than someone dying.
A lot of people make fun of the theme song but I really like it. Then again Paul McCartney is my favorite Beatle. I know it's not something that someone should admit but I did. So there.
A digital watch, really Bond. I guess that we are in the Seventies after all.
I didn't know that M stood for "Morning wake up call."
Some people watch Bond films and want to be a spy. I watch Bond films and want to be a barista.
Why the hell does Bond have metal chickens on his kitchen wall? I guess that Harry Saltzman must have gotten a product placement deal with HomeGoods or something.
A monogrammed dressing gown? Sad. Just sad.
That Pan Am jet was on the screen longer than Pan Am the series was on ABC.
Yet another Leiter. This time it's David Hedison, the first actor to play the part twice. That is a minor miracle in a way.
For me anyway, a Bond film that takes place in America is a bit of a disappointment. I live in America and I see it every day. It's not that I don't like looking at America, it's just that the Bond films usually take place in parts of the world that most of us will never see.
"What's a Texas Cadillac doing in New York City?" "I don't know. Let's see what it's got under the hood."
Those have to be the ugliest cars in any film ever.
Dr. Quinn, Black Magic Woman
George Martin jazzed up the "James Bond Theme" without making it sound cheesy. That's not an easy thing to do.
007 tarot cards? That's a little too meta even for me.
Tee Hee!
That bendy dude is kind of creepy.
Now Bond has moved on to Bollinger. He must have finished off all the Dom Perignon.
Snakes. I hate snakes.
Doesn't Bond know better than to mess with a lady's wig? That's a good way to get yourself seriously injured.
A leisure suit with a wife beater? Wow. Just wow?
Hello Quarrel, Jr. Hope you don't end up like your dad.
So, if you have sex with Bond it causes you to lose your mojo? Fair trade?
Is there any vehicle that Bond doesn't destroy?
In the 70s it wasn't enough for Bond to get into a fight or be in some kind of peril, there had to be some kind of chase and/or an overly elaborate stunt.
I guess it would have been far too obvious if Mrs Bell had been called "Mrs Webb."
Tee Hee!
I've been to an alligator farm. It really wasn't by choice. It's what you do in Florida.
I'm in a boat chase!
It's not a 1970s movie without a redneck sheriff.
In Diamonds are Forever everyone seems to make a big deal about the flub. You know, the one with the Mach 1. Yet no one ever mentions the fact that in Live and Let Die 007 is seen in the boat with the inboard motor before he makes the switch. Why is that?
That's not how you pole dance.
Ah, the old buzz saw watch gag. Gotta love a classic.
I guess you could say that it was a farewell to arm.
Tee Hee!
A lot of people make fun of the theme song but I really like it. Then again Paul McCartney is my favorite Beatle. I know it's not something that someone should admit but I did. So there.
A digital watch, really Bond. I guess that we are in the Seventies after all.
I didn't know that M stood for "Morning wake up call."
Some people watch Bond films and want to be a spy. I watch Bond films and want to be a barista.
Why the hell does Bond have metal chickens on his kitchen wall? I guess that Harry Saltzman must have gotten a product placement deal with HomeGoods or something.
A monogrammed dressing gown? Sad. Just sad.
That Pan Am jet was on the screen longer than Pan Am the series was on ABC.
Yet another Leiter. This time it's David Hedison, the first actor to play the part twice. That is a minor miracle in a way.
For me anyway, a Bond film that takes place in America is a bit of a disappointment. I live in America and I see it every day. It's not that I don't like looking at America, it's just that the Bond films usually take place in parts of the world that most of us will never see.
"What's a Texas Cadillac doing in New York City?" "I don't know. Let's see what it's got under the hood."
Those have to be the ugliest cars in any film ever.
Dr. Quinn, Black Magic Woman
George Martin jazzed up the "James Bond Theme" without making it sound cheesy. That's not an easy thing to do.
007 tarot cards? That's a little too meta even for me.
Tee Hee!
That bendy dude is kind of creepy.
Now Bond has moved on to Bollinger. He must have finished off all the Dom Perignon.
Snakes. I hate snakes.
Doesn't Bond know better than to mess with a lady's wig? That's a good way to get yourself seriously injured.
A leisure suit with a wife beater? Wow. Just wow?
Hello Quarrel, Jr. Hope you don't end up like your dad.
So, if you have sex with Bond it causes you to lose your mojo? Fair trade?
Is there any vehicle that Bond doesn't destroy?
In the 70s it wasn't enough for Bond to get into a fight or be in some kind of peril, there had to be some kind of chase and/or an overly elaborate stunt.
I guess it would have been far too obvious if Mrs Bell had been called "Mrs Webb."
Tee Hee!
I've been to an alligator farm. It really wasn't by choice. It's what you do in Florida.
I'm in a boat chase!
It's not a 1970s movie without a redneck sheriff.
In Diamonds are Forever everyone seems to make a big deal about the flub. You know, the one with the Mach 1. Yet no one ever mentions the fact that in Live and Let Die 007 is seen in the boat with the inboard motor before he makes the switch. Why is that?
That's not how you pole dance.
Ah, the old buzz saw watch gag. Gotta love a classic.
I guess you could say that it was a farewell to arm.
Tee Hee!
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